Dedication, separation, and jubilation (or something)

"Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The picture above was taken on Easter Sunday, but just made it to my computer today because of Isaac's dedication. So I'm a little slow. Sue me.

I'm really proud of this little guy and his maw and paw. He's probably the cutest kid ever and I really love the three of them. With that in mind, I thought today about baby dedications and if parents do them with sincere hearts or just for show.

Sadly, most of the time they are probably done to please the grandparents and to put on a good mask for the church family. Sorry to be so negative, but do you disagree? I thought so.

I can say with 100% certainty that Baby Iyaak's dedication today was done in earnest. And I think anyone who knows Ryan and candy-cane-shouldered Juli would say the same. God bless you three.

So it made me think of this:

And she vowed a vow and said, "O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life..." --1 Samuel 1:11

And in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Samuel, for she said, "I have asked for him from the Lord." --1 Samuel 1:20

"For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to Him. Therefore I have lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is lent to the Lord." --1 Samuel 1:27,28

If not the first recorded baby dedication, then this is certainly the most popular. I know we all know people who can claim this story as their own, but today just made me reflect on it and realize what God can do with a life dedicated to Him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

There are a thousand other things I could write about tonight. I wish I had time. Benji's sermon today was.... real. I told him I had never heard a sermon that pretty much covered the message of the Bible from front to back, that is until today.

His message today made me stop and reflect about my own separation from God. I have times of detachment and disconnection from God. Times when I just feel distanced from Him. I ask myself, "What is it that is keeping me from Him?" But I think the more appropriate question is, "What isn't?"

Too often I look at myself and measure against the standard of other people. If I stay just a step ahead of others, if I attend a little more, if I teach one more class than they do, if I talk a little more spiritually, then I'm on a different plane of righteousness. A higher one.

It's easy to fulfill the law when it's my own law. As long as I'm writing the commandments, they're a breeze.

But when I compare myself to God and His standard, then I'm "wretched, poor, blind, and miserable."

I separate myself from God by living the life I think I deserve. I make the choices that follow my plan, I take the roads that lead where I want to go. I define my own abundant life.

I separate myself from God by sin. Those tired, old patterns that have tripped me up for years, and though I despise them and the pride that begat them, if I truly hated them I would turn away from them.

"You will do well to make your confession before God very frank, very sincere, very explicit. Surely you have nothing to hide, for there is nothing that you can hide. He knows your guilt already, but He would have you know it, and therefore, He bids you confess it. If you will condemn yourself, God will acquit you."

------------------------------------------------------------------

Finally, I feel happy today. No amazing, earth-shattering reason, I just had a good day with people. I talked alot and laughed alot. I made a complete idiot of myself in front of Benji's mom, un-intentionally, of course. In short, she got a butt-wiggling, booty-shaking show from me while I was making fun of Virginia (no tip, either). I caught up with Vanessa, who I'm glad is feeling better and seeing God in her circumstances. I spent time in the sunshine and washed my truck, which always makes me feel good. And I'm fired up about our JGen bonfire this weekend (no pun intended), just because it'll be fun, and there'll be S'Mores!!!

Yep. Good day.

Happy Monday.

If this ticks you off, well, sorry.

Spanky with an earring ...(and a freakishly long left ear lobe).

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know that we don't really deal with "what-if's" here in Christianland, but my mind went a-drifting on me today. I couldn't help but think about how the Bible might read a little differently.

What if Noah had said, "Are you kidding me??? I don't have time to build a boat. The family's always demanding my attention, my career is really taking off, and besides, it never rains anyway. Sorry. I'm out."

What if Abraham had said, "Yeah, right. Whatever. I'm not going to Egypt. The property taxes are too high, the new Pharaoh is too liberal, and even if I did, there's no way I'm gonna turn around and walk all the way back to Canaan. Oh! And another thing, if You think I'm walking three days just to kill my son, You've lost your ever-lovin' mind."

What if Jacob had said, "Thanks for the workout and the nickname, but I've got alot going on right now. I'm not really interested in fathering a great nation."

What if Joseph had said, "They made fun of me, threw me in a hole, and sold me on the black market. Let 'em rot for all I care. I've got it made."

What if Moses had said, "A bush?!? I'm talking to a bush. And it's on fire. I must be losin' it. Think I'll go back to the tent and take a Tylenol. Besides, I don't even feel like delivering the mail, much less half a million people."

What if Rahab had said, "Psst! Hey, you. Soldier boy. Check the roof. And be sure to come back on payday."

What if Samson had said, "That Delilah's pretty hot. Think I'll get a buzzcut and settle down with her. My arms are tired."

What if Samuel had said, "Anybody here named David? No? Okay, then. Eliab, I guess you'll do."

What if Solomon had said, "I want a big house, lots of wives, and a bunch of money. Oh! And about a thousand pre-nups."

What if Esther had said, "You want me to what??? I don't think so!! He gets really cranky when you do that."

What if Job had said, "Thanks for nothing, God. I'm done with You."

What if Isaiah had said, "There he is, Lord. Send him."

What if Daniel had said, "Sure. I'll play along. Anything to keep me away from the lions. They're frikkin' huge!"

What if Jonah had said, "(cough, cough) Whew! That was close! Now if I hurry, I can still make the 4:10 to Tarshish."

What if Matthew had said, "Dude, it's like April. This is my busy season. And with all the revisions to the tax laws, I'm swamped."

What if Peter had said, "No thanks. They're biting really good today."

What if James and John had said, "The economy's in the crapper. I can't just up and be changing jobs right now. I've got a retirement to think of. Besides, we've got about a gazillion more nets to go."

What if? If all these great followers of God that we hold up as heroes had thought of their own lives, their desires for life, their dreams and wishes, how different would things be? If selfishness had made their decisions, what would be different?

I think nothing. Nothing but the names in the stories.

God has a plan and man will not thwart it. But think of the opportunities they would have missed. Think for a moment how their lives would have been different if they had said, "No."

How many opportunities do we miss out on because we stop to think of what we want and how it will screw up our plans? When God calls on us, will we obey, and be a part of something amazing that He is doing? Or will we choose to hang on to our pre-determined and self-scripted lives; the lives we think we deserve?

What if Jesus had said, "Hellooo! Son of God here! If you think I'm going down there in all that mess and dying for a bunch of people that hate Us already, then You're crazy. Let them all rot in Hell. That's the least they deserve. They're just going to do what they want and slap My Name on it, anyway."

Then everything would be different.

It's Friday!!! And 80 degrees!

This is a test to see how mobile blogging works. I may not use it much but for those moments of inspiration during the workday, at least I have the capability to bless your days with wisdom.

Enjoy. :)

Ο Κύριος ο Θεός είναι ένας ήλιος και ασπίδα

You'll just have to come up with your own caption for this one. I'm laughing too hard. But I keep remembering that scene from Dumb and Dumber where Harry has to run to the bathroom.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favor and honor.

No good thing does He withhold

from those who walk uprightly.

O Lord of hosts,

blessed is the one who trusts in you! --Psalm 84:11,12

This is one of those "tough times" verses. It's the kind of thing you need to hear when all is dark and it seems like everything and everyone is against you. Sun and shield; light and protection.

One commentary I read says this, which I like:

"This is the person who finds God to be a sun and shield (He gives the light of life and protection), upon whom the Lord bestows favor and honor (such a person will not trust in these or turn them into a source of pride). Those who walk uprightly are those whose faith is genuine, which leads to a life that aims at doing God's will; no good thing does God withhold from them, because they are living in His light."

Living in His light. "Turning on the light," as Grand High Potentate Fowler puts it, is the moment of revelation when we see and face the things we've been hiding from and running from. Those things that we have been denying are there because we're afraid of them. Or we lack the courage to take the necessary steps to get rid of them. What happens after the light is on? That can't be the end, or we'd be right back in the dark very quickly.

So we turn on the light. Then we live in the light. We live transparently. Our lives should be a reflection of Him, anyway, so when we live our lives transparently, no one sees us. They see God. We walk uprightly, which means blameless, whole and complete in Hebrew. I don't know about you but whole and complete are pretty appealing to me.

And God withholds nothing good from them. What God deems good is much, much better than anything good I can think of. And believe me, I can think of some pretty good goods. But He pours it out on the upright, and bestows favor and honor. Those are two things that the world can never, ever give us.

But where it starts is where this passage ends. It "opens at the close," (Golden Snitch reference of the day). Sorry. (Back on track, Carver)

The one who trusts in the Lord is blessed. It begins with trusting Him. It begins with surrender, with dying. Just as it was with Jesus, and as it is with salvation, and all things in our walk with God, real life begins with death.

Happy Wednesday, vous du beau monde!

Oh! I almost forgot. The title is "The Lord God is a sun and shield" in Greek. You people really don't know how smart I am.

God uses children

Oh, I'm gonna pay for this one. But sometimes you just can't resist.

Big hair and a naked baby, all that's missing is a tube top and it's "Wal-Mart, here we come!"

-----------------------------------------------------------

I need to give some props to two of our very young ones tonight. They'll probably never see this but you guys will and that means something.

This morning, I had the "pleasure" of speaking in Can-Do Club for Prayz Dayz. I was asked to speak for about fifteen minutes about forgiveness. No big deal, really, except that trying talk about forgiveness to fifth graders and below is a daunting task.

So I was tore up nervous. I don't have a problem speaking to people, especially about God. I've taught all sorts of classes, delivered "sermons" (they aren't really sermons if you aren't ordained, right?), and spoken at my father's and grandfather's funerals. But the thought of facing down these children had me quivering.

After Sunday School, I made the torturously long trek down the third floor hallway, still wishing for a fire drill or something to get me off the hook. When I got near the Can-Do room, all the kids were queued up outside. All of a sudden, Bennett and Charlie break from the herd and come running, full out, toward me.

"Uncle Chip! Uncle Chip!" was all I could hear as the two boys each grabbed a thigh and squeezed my legs so tight I thought I would drop. I looked down into their smiling faces and the nerves broke. All my apprehension faded away and for the rest of the service, things went swimmingly.

Thanks, God, for suffering the little children to come unto me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

And now, I am going to fuss about the frustrations of moving. It's exciting but also quite a chore. I'm in the process of sifting through ten years of crap; crap being clothes, papers, pictures, dishes, and on and on and on.

I'm not a messy person but right now I feel like it.

I'm trying to get rid of the junk. The less crap I have, the less crap I have to move.

So those screams you hear are mine.

If I have any wonderful, dear, dedicated friends who have free evening time to help me rifle through my life, do call.

Ġesù inti tant iħobb.

Movin' on

I'm really happy so I'm taking a break from the wisecracks tonight, but just long enough to say that this may be the single best picture ever taken. Ever. Not just by me but anyone, anywhere, ever. But I'm not one to brag. It's not the photographer, it's the subjects. If you know Virginia, Sarah, and Heather then you know that this photo has captured them perfectly. I can't look at this picture without smiling back at them. Well done, gals.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm very excited right now. I have a little something going on that screams, "God did it! God did it!" This might sound crazy to most people but to me it's amazing. So, here you go.

It's my house. I sold it. More precisely, Ryan sold it, and pretty much without having to try. I guess he's a natural.

Several months ago, my sister was renting a house. When we moved her in, I noticed how much nicer the house was than mine and said, casually, that if I had known it was available I would have taken it and put mine up for sale. I've been in my house for nine years now. When I moved in it was with the intention of staying no more than ten years. How about that?

So, a few months later, my sister moved out of the rental house and no more thought was given to it. Until Ryan said something to me one day about a friend of his whose mother-in-law was wanting a small place near John Sevier Highway, blah, blah, blah. I said something like, "Yeah, it would be nice to sell mine but I'm not ready to take such a risk with the economy how it is." End of story.

Nope. Ryan apparently wasn't happy with my response because he kind of stayed on me about it until I eventually agreed to let him show the house thinking, "What the heck. It couldn't hurt." So we worked up a time and I spent late nights and countless amounts of energy over the course of a week to get the place presentable. I left one Saturday for a few hours and gave Ryan the keys and a good luck wish.

All this time I was thinking that no one would want this place for what I needed to get out of it. But if they did, man, that would be awesome. I could get mostly out of debt, move into a nicer place for less money, have a place to entertain (it's got an awesome back deck that's covered), and save money for a while then look for a new place. Mostly, I am just ready to take a step. Make some forward progress. That's one of those spiritual/emotional things but, at my age, forward movement and a sense of accomplishment are important. Ah yes, wish and want.

Those of you who have been to my house know that it's no Biltmore. It's small, old, dumpy, and fraught with issues. So I'm sure you can agree that selling it would be a chore. Unless, of course, you know Ryan Thomas and God.

So Ryan shows the house and then calls me.

"Hey. What's up?"

"Nothing much." What do you think is up? I'm on pins and needles here.

"I sold it."

"Ex-squeeze me?"

"I sold your house."

"You're sh#**#%g me."

"Nope. They walked in the front door and loved it. The color's what did it."

The color. The prospective buyers liked the color. The color of the house of a color-blind guy who picked out the color by himself. Anybody else seeing a great, big God here?

I don't want to sound too Joel Osteen-ish here, but I'm beginning to think I'm not the only one who wants me to sell my house.

So the deal is under way. It's not done yet, we haven't even set a closing date. But it's never too early to be amazed by God. Whether or not it goes through is not what's important. Sometimes the important thing is just the feeling you get when you realize that God truly is looking out for you.

Happy Friday, kids!

Let's get dirty

What JGenners do best. Is that a chainsaw I hear?

--------------------------------------------------------------

Benji's theory about Wednesdays being refreshing has proven true. That's exactly the word I would use to describe my state of mind tonight. I had a few really good talks (or texts) today, all JGenners of course, because those are the only people who will talk to me. Anyway, that mid-week re-connection does a body good. And laughing helps alot.

So tonight, the High Potentate talked about being broken or being crushed. He remarked that there is joy in brokenness, and I agree. These are just a few thoughts on that.

Being broken ain't fun. But it is necessary. I think the joy of it comes from the realization that at rock bottom, there's no one there to help except the only One who can help. Something about that awakening to God's love, even tough love, in the first moments of genuine brokenness stirs up the joy of the soul by recognizing that all barriers have been torn down and nothing stands between God and ourselves. We have come to the end or ourselves, and our hope rests solely with God who desires more than anything to lift us up. Our souls are connected with Him in the purest form of spiritual communication.

Then we see things from His perspective. We get a glimpse of His intentions and an earnest desire to follow His leading, knowing that we are in His will. It's the peace in the storm, so to speak.

When I think about my own experience with brokenness, I always think of the passion and zeal that it breeds. It's in those times that I'm willing to do anything, go anywhere, be anybody, as long as God wants me to. It's a shame that those desires for obedience fade with time.

Anyway, just some thoughts from my pensieve (Potter fans get it). I'll leave you with one of my fav-o-rite songs. It's been stuck in my head all day.

Smile! Tomorrow's Friday.

Jekyll and Hyde

Mean chicks, dude.

--------------------------------------------------------------

It's hard living two separate lives. When I think about the title of this post, I don't really think about the story that scared me as a kid. I think about the people who put themselves through the torture of trying to be two different people.

I've been there before. Wearing two masks. On one, a face of good, godly, church-involvement and talking a good game of love and friendship. But on the other, trying to please worldly people and be what I have to be to keep them in my life. The question is, "Why would I want to?"

This is one of those black-and-white Bible things. The Word is very clear about how we can't serve two masters and that by becoming friends with the world, we become an enemy of God. There's no gray area there. So why is it that everywhere you turn, you see the world stealing people away from the church?

Because, "even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light." We fall for the deceptions because he uses the things we are looking for. Attention, love, success, fame, glory; essentially the things that he himself desired and that led to his downfall.

We've got to realize that the church is where God wants us. He designed it as a body of like-minded people who could be each others safety nets. It's not a club, or just somewhere to go when we have nothing better to do. The things we do, the groups we form, the circles we run in are there for us to draw strength from and fall back on. And in those things we are bound together by Christ's blood. That's a bond that worldly people are clueless about because light and darkness can't co-exist. It's got to be one or the other.

It breaks my heart to see people torn apart by the struggle of living in two worlds. It is evident in their actions and their attitudes. Where the two worlds collide, there is a crossroads, a decision to be made. Too often, the wrong road is chosen. We can't stand in the world on our own, the Bible is also clear about that. So we must choose the one life that keeps us close to God, the life with His family.

Pray for each other. Pray for our own who are struggling with the deceptions of the world and its strongholds. In our unity and fellowship, we are a church. And the gates of Hell will not prevail.

And I ask that you pray for me, too.

Something a little different

For your viewing pleasure, I'm going to start posting some of my favorite pictures on here, randomly, of course. They will most likely have nothing to do with the content of each post so we'll just call them decoration (with captions). They will, however, surely bring a smile (or a frown) because they are all photos I've taken at SCBC events. Therefore, they will include many of you fine readers. I hope you enjoy. Actually, I'll enjoy so I don't care whether you do or not.

Sportin' the Granny look pretty good!

---------------------------------------------------------

"What to me is the multitude of your sacrifices? says the Lord;
I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams and well-fed beasts;
I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs or of goats.

When you come to appear before Me, who has required of you this trampling of my courts?
Bring no more vain offerings;
incense is an abomination to me.
New moon and Sabbath and the calling of convocations-
I cannot endure iniquity and solemn assembly.
Your new moons and your apppointed feasts
My soul hates;
They have become a burden to Me;
I am weary of bearing them.
When you spread out your hands,
I will hide my eyes from you;
even though you make many prayers,
I will not listen;
your hands are full of blood.
Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean;
remove the evil of your deeds from before My eyes;
cease to do evil,
learn to do good"

Isaiah 1:11-17

What we do is not as important as why we do it. In short, God says, "Be real."

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes,
but the Lord weighs the heart. --Proverbs 21:2

A "speck" of awareness

I hate having something on my mind that I don't want there. Isn't there enough going on, really important things, without adding more trash to the pile?

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. --Matthew 7:1-5

And here's something that came to me while Benji was singing "Let God Arise."

What makes people unaware of themselves? Are we really that blind? Can we not see past ourselves enough to recognize the hurt we cause by being oblivious to reality? By being oblivious to truth? By being oblivious to You?

Let God arise and show us how far we are from where we think we are.

I can't tell someone they're wrong if I'm doing the same thing. "Do this!" or "Don't do that!" only works if I'm leading the way. The Bible gives us direction on confronting those we love who are living in a way that is harmful to themselves. And that direction always begins with checking ourselves first. I can't tell you how God wants you to live if I'm living in rebellion. I have to get myself right, then I can help you to get right.

'Cause real friends are willing to intrude...

It always comes back to love.

Happy Easter! Love, Herschel (or, if you prefer, Pigwidgeon)

Where's the Peeps, peeps?

I am ill. No, not sick. Ill as in "ill as a hornet." MAD!!!

I have been to Wal-mart about 1,738 times in the past few weeks looking for Peeps. You know what I mean. Peeps, the best ever marshmallow and pure sugar jolt you could ever hope for. They are only around during Easter, all except for this Easter, apparently. All I've found on the shelves are empty boxes where the Peeps are supposed to be. Dozens and dozens of empty boxes.

I've compensated for the lack of Peeps by eating double my normal annual intake of Cadbury eggs. But that has ran its course (literally). I'm over the eggs; I need some Peeps!

Life. Why does it have to be so hard?

There's no day quite like Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday is my favorite day of the year. It always has been. No one will see this until probably Monday but that's okay. I'm going to tell you about it anyway.

First of all, it's spring. I know spring began a few weeks ago but to me it isn't spring until it's Easter. Even those years when it's 35 degrees and snowing, Easter still feels like spring. And spring means summer is coming and that makes me HAPPY!

Second, there's all the little kids and their new Easter outfits. Big kids, too, like me, who wear something new and bright (if you're lucky you get to go shopping with Sarah) and that just makes people smile. I like to see smiles.

Then there's my vision of future Easters. I look forward to the day when I walk into church with my Mrs. and my little one(s) in their new Easter outfits. You'll recognize my kid; the one with the big ears and unibrow.

But, of course, it's about Jesus. It's about what He did and why. Easter celebrates the day when Jesus got up, walked out of His tomb for me. He walked away from death because He wanted me to spend eternity with Him.

God is a God of resurrection. He resurrected His Son because of love and there's nothing or no one beyond that power of resurrection. I was resurrected on the day I got saved and, honestly, He has resurrected me from other things since then. He saved me from death once, but He has saved me from the world and myself many times.

Happy Easter.

The mouths of babes...

I worked all day today at Sequoyah Hills Presbyterian Church. It's a beautiful, sprawling campus and school and, because of the pretty weather, the daycare kids spent most of the day outside on the playground... the playground right where I was working.

I have never laughed as much as I did today. There were probably around sixty kids from 3 to 5 years old playing out there today. Of course, they're caged in like sheep (actually S.H.E.E.P. which is the name of their program and, no, I never asked what it stands for).

So I'm standing outside the fence, actually leaning on it, while my partner is aloft working. I look down to see about ten of the little loves glaring up at me, smiling and waving. I kneel down and say "Hi!" and one of the soccer-mom leader ladies tells me to just let her know if they are disturbing me and she'll corral them (I think she was checking me out in a "Desperate Housewives" sort of way. If you know me, you know that's a hilarious joke). The conversation then got interesting, and hard to interpret.

Soccer-mom leader lady - "My little friend, Bo, here wants to know what you call that truck."

Me - "We call it a bucket truck."

S-m.l.l. - "He thought it was a boom truck."

Me - "Well, some people do call it that."

S-m.l.l. - "See there, Bo? We were both right."

Bo - "Hi."

Me - "Hi, Bo. I'm Chuck, but you don't have to try to say that." (Not good for 4 year olds to attempt)

Bo - "Okay, Thuck." (Whew!)

Me - "You want to help me work today? It'll be fun."

Bo - "You mean work like picking up my toys? Nah, I'll just play."

Me - (laughing hysterically) "Well, okay. Do you like school? Do you learn a lot?"

Bo - "Yeah. What's that thing?"

Me - "It's called a chain-hoist. We use it to tension things, I mean, make things real tight."

Bo - "How old are you?" (little brat) (S-m.l.l. roars with laughter)

Me - "A lot older than you, buddy. Do you learn alot about Jesus in school?"

Bo - "Yeah. I wanna be that."

Me - "Jesus? Or a chain-hoist?"

Bo - (condescendingly) "No! When I grow up I wanna be that. What you are."

After thirty-seven long years, I have finally attained Hero status to someone. It's touching, really.

Me - "Well that means you'll have to work."

Bo - "Never mind." (and walks away)

"Hey, mister!"

Me - "Hi there."

"I'm Emma. Want to play with my doll?"

Me - "Thanks, Emma, but I better not. I might get her dirty. Are you having fun today?"

Emma - "Can I have a dollar?"

You've just read the first ten minutes of a day that went on for about five hours. There is no possible way to frown after a day like that.

And I get to go back tomorrow. Jelliss?

It's Friday, y'all!!!

Testimony Time with Uncle Chucky

I apologize for the poor quality pictures but it's the best I could do with a cell phone and a shaky hand. I wanted to share something with you tonight that makes my heart leap with joy. It's something that God showed me tonight.

I attended a Chris Tomlin concert tonight (Captain Obvious quote of the day). I could go on and on with things like, "Dude! It was AWESOME! He's like the greatest singer ever! It was the best concert I've ever been to!" But I'm not going to do that because that's not how I feel. Yes, it was a fantastic concert and he is definitely gifted. It was probably one of the most worshipful times I've ever experienced. But the story is in what that worship yielded.

About a year and a half ago, I went to see Tomlin on the "Indescribable" tour here in KnoxVegas. I sat through the whole thing, never standing, never singing along, and waiting for the end. I thought it was stupid and the sermon by Louie Giglio was a bunch of ridiculously overblown statements that were just meant to argue with the scientists.

Around the same time, I also attended two TobyMac shows, and also with the same attitude if not worse. I griped and complained for weeks leading up to the concerts and sat sourpussed through the whole thing, ranting and raving about the no-talent idiot turning back flips off of the drum riser.

Then, almost exactly one year ago, we had a "concert in Hawaii night" in youth. Benji showed Audio Adrenaline's farewell concert and we all dressed up in Hawaiian clothes and wore leis. And again, I stood at the back with some of the kids' dads making fun of the guy on screen who couldn't sing anymore and doubted out loud if he ever could.

Yeah, that was me. Chuck, the wonderfully worshipful youth leader guy with the great, big, open heart and love, love, love for everybody. Baloney.

Tonight, God spoke two words to me: Full Circle.

I never sat down. I sang every word of every song. I cried like a little girl who lost her dolly. I screamed my lungs out singing songs that are about ten keys too high for me. I prayed. I jumped up and down. I lifted my hands. And I loved it.

My CD player holds six discs. The artists currently in there are TobyMac, Audio Adrenaline, Chris Tomlin, Third Day, and Jeremy Camp. When I'm in a really good mood, I rock it out to Boomin' and Ordinary Love. Friday afternoons leaving work, I listen to Free Ride. Jesus Messiah never fails to touch me. And I consider Lay Down My Pride to be my own personal theme song. That, dear friends, is what we call a changed heart. Only God can do that.

I'm sure you've figured out that this post is not at all about music. It's about the change that can take place with just one brief moment with God. One touch from Him and pride dissolves, bitterness washes away, and a cold, self-centered heart fills with love for the things it hated. It was pride and stubbornness that caused me to act the way I did in the past. I didn't have any real problems with those things, I was just too focused on myself to even want to join in and share everyone's fun.

There is true freedom in surrender. I never fully realized until tonight just how life-changing those first days of confession and brokenness were. God has brought me full circle. I think now I'm wiser and closer to God than before I turned away from Him. Not because I like different music. But because the reasons I disliked it are long gone.

What I do while you people sleep

It's 3:08 A.M. I was awakened an hour and a half ago by I don't know what. But here I am with nothing left to do but change my template. I hope the colors match.

When these times of non-sleep come, I usually find my pulse rapid and some sort of burden on my heart. Such is the case tonight. I've been in prayer for the last hour and now I'm just waiting to get tired again, which will probably happen about 5:45 when my alarm sounds. Oh well, whadda ya do?

"You awake?"

Snore.

"Wakey, wakey."

"Huh?"

"Let's chat."

Yaaawwwnn. "Why can't we chat during normal business hours?"

"Because you're usually too distracted, that's why."

"Rott, rott. Okay. 'Sup?"

"Do you need to ask?"

"No, not really. Just thought maybe something new was going on."

"Nope."

"Well, alrighty then. Guess I'll just hang here for a while."

"Good idea."

"You know I don't have anything different to say, just the same things you always hear."

"I know."

"You're cool with that?"

"Way cool."

"Okie dokie."

"Good talk, Russ."

"Thanks, God."

Or something like that.

And you are ...? Oh right! Jesus. Got it.

Something from the sermon this morning that just really jumped up and bit me in the derriere.

...and saying, "You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross." So also the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked Him, saying, "He saved others; He cannot save Himself. He is the King of Israel; let Him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in Him. He trusts in God; let God deliver Him now, if He desires Him. For he said, 'I am the Son of God.' " --Matthew 27:40-43

Jesus being mocked by the most prominent and elite members of Jerusalem's society and religious establishment was a big deal back then. They laughed at Him for His claims because He didn't fit in with their ideas.

Dr. Golden said this of this passage: "Jesus, why don't You become what we think You should be and fit into our definition of what the Son of God is?"

Jesus could have saved Himself. But then He couldn't have saved us. The temple leaders couldn't understand sacrifice even though they had undoubtedly performed many sacrifices themselves. It was self-sacrifice that escaped them.

They imagined a warrior Messiah, a battle-ready king, a powerful military commander with armies at his disposal. One day they will see that wish fulfilled, but this wasn't the time. Jesus came to die in shame. He will return to triumph in glory.

How often do we re-define the Son of God? How many times do we ask Him to become something we want instead of what we need? Do we honestly see Him for who truly is, or do we purposely skew our vision of Him so that He will fit into our plans and desires? Do you really worship God or is He your "genie-in-a-bottle" (sing-along now)?

We want our lives to be what we think they should be. We make our plans and ask God to join in and bless them. That's not a surrendered life. That's not dying to self. And then we get all torqued out when our plans don't work out and ask God why He didn't comply. How often do you think God's response is, "I didn't tell you to do that in the first place! You wanted it, not Me!"

He promises to bless us abundantly. He promises to take care of us and make our joy complete. Why don't we just let Him?

Happy Monday! (if there is such a thing)

Why pray?

Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith! --Luke 12:24-28

A raven is an ugly bird. Just a bird. It has no soul, no desire to be near its creator, no seat of emotions, no capacity to feel heartache or despair. It's just a bird that lives to eat and reproduce. But God loves that ugly bird enough to provide it with food and water. God loves it enough to ensure its survival.

A lily is a beautiful flower, with what I'm sure are vibrant and vivid colors (I'll take your word for it). It's just a flower, though, that sprouts, grows, gets pollenated, and dies. But God has given that flower beauty and immortality through the symbolism of His Word. "The Lily of the Valley," remember that?

We pray because God loves us. He loves us above any other creation of His. He loves us enough to promise to meet any and every need we might have.

There's been a ginormous (hate that made-up word) amount of prayer going up today. It's been a day of caring, loving, encouraging, and supporting. I felt depended on today and that makes me giddy like a schoolgirl. I felt God prompting us to reach out to those we love the most and help heal them up a little. Man, I love God! He's great.

Ravens and lilies are God's creations, but we are His most precious. The above Scripture refers to God's provision; food and clothing. But He provides us with so much more than just those things. He provides us with strength, encouragement, comfort, faith, healing, peace. And He gives us soft places to land when we fall, and shoulders to rest on when we are weak.

But most importantly, He gives Himself. And the promise that He is enough to cover any circumstance.

Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
The creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might He increases strength.

Keep praying for the Mays family.

I don't have time for God

I've been thinking alot about my own prayer life (which is a funny term because it sounds like a compartment of my life when it should be the biggest part of my life). Anyway, I've been looking into what keeps me from praying.

It seems like most days I run around crazy-headed, trying to accomplish all of the tasks I had planned, mix in a little R & R, get to bed at a decent hour, and fall asleep feeling proud of myself. But most days I lay in bed trying to fall asleep with a nagging feeling that I missed out on some QT with God.

I'm not talking about "praying without ceasing." I don't mean remaining in a prayerful state of mind while I go about performing my job, or listening to a Tomlin CD while driving, or reading a Max Lucado book, or writing a compelling, thought-provoking, life-changing post for you folks to read.

What I'm talking about here is real time with God. The kind of time He wants, when we set aside everything in our overly-complicated lives and devote ourselves completely to Him, on our knees, with His Word open and our hearts receptive. A daily Sabbath, if you will.

So what stands in the way? Life. Not real life, of course, but the life we have made for ourselves. Careers, people, relationships, sports, television shows that we just cannot miss, social lives that will utterly fall apart if we cut them short a half an hour, you name it. They are all priorities above God-time.

We tell ourselves that these things are godly parts of our lives that help us to be well-rounded Christians and that God wants us to be active and visible so that others can see Him in us. We're very proud of ourselves, aren't we?

Remember Daniel? Hangin' out-in-the-lions'-crib Daniel? Prayed-three-times-a-day-at-the-risk-of-death Daniel? What about David? Psalm-writing, shepherd boy-turned-king of Israel David? He stayed in constant communion with God and I still haven't heard of one single sheep that turned up missing.

And what about the God/Man Himself? If you're having trouble keeping up, I'm talking about Jesus. The Bible says that He often went off to pray alone and that He often continued in prayer all night.

The very nature of God and the reason He created us is so that we could have a relationship with Him. He would never want us to over-busy ourselves and cut Him out. The whole purpose of Jesus' death was to provide a way for us to fellowship with Him directly. That's why the veil was "rent in twain" (I've always wanted to use that).

The old saying goes, "If you're too busy for God, you're too busy." The times in my life when I've been alone with God for awhile have been the most life-changing times of my, well... life. We all need to slow down and trim the fat. We shouldn't struggle to make time for God. The difficulty should be in making time for anything else.

Too sermon-ish? Then there's only one thing left to do.

Would the ushers please come forward...?

Just thinking out loud here

I have a whole bunch of stuff on my mind. So I'll cover it in multiple posts. It's kind of like cyber-journaling.

This is my first post in a week, a long time for me. Sarah made me feel guilty for not writing as much because I like to read what you all have to say. It keeps me in touch with you guys throughout the week. I imagine it would be much more important if I were away at college. So I've decided to give you all the privilege of getting to know me better. Yeah, I know. It is a blessing.

I Googled "King of kings" for some reason. The responses were about an epic movie from the 1960's (which I've seen and liked), a Motorhead album (can't be good), and a professional wrestler named Triple H, or HHH. We are definitely living in a media-controlled world. Those "days of Noah" that Jesus talked about can't be far away. But I don't mean to discourage. I look forward to the day when Jesus returns and lays the smackdown on a wrestler who refers to himself as the king of kings.

Thanks to Virginia, I laugh everytime I think of the word capitulate. It reminds me of that scene in "Tommy Boy" where Farley and Spade are stoned in the car and keep repeating, "...speed limit, limit, limit," because it sounds funny to them. Thanks, V-Baby. Sweat rings and all.

Easter is coming and it's my favorite day of the year. Because of what we celebrate but also because of all the new clothes and dressed-up kids in little dresses and suits and ties. All of the colors are so bright and pretty (so they tell me).

I'm really excited about the upcoming JGen summer. The activities we came up with the other night are sure to be fun and purposeful. Definitely a summer we'll never forget.

Prayer is the topic of the day and I say, "Hallelujah." I believe it is the key to everything we want to see God do in our lives and around us. More importantly, what He wants to do, whether we are aware of it or not. I told my guys Sunday night that if we get our prayer lives right, and I mean really right, and take on an attitude of true humility and willingness, then He will change things in a way we could never imagine. Everything will change.

Speaking of prayer, and I apologize if I'm out of line, I am really burdened for three of our own. As you may know, Heather, Rachel, and Sarah's mom is going through a very difficult time. My heart goes out to Autumn, who has been very good to me. What better way for us to start sharpening our prayer skills than to lift up this family that is so very close to all of us. Mays girls, I pray for you three intently every day. I'm sure the stress and worry of this time can be overwhelming, especially with all of life's other cares. Praise to God that He is able to handle all our trials, physical and emotional. I love you gals very much and I think I speak for the whole crew when I say we've got your back.

Enough for today? I think so, too.

Four days to go.