Benji talked tonight about your identity. What is your identity? With what do you identify? Of course, the churchy answer is God through Christ. But, as he talked to the kids, I thought about those times in my life when I lost my identity. I don't mean that I got all pouty and depressed, just very reflective and grateful to God for now having re-discovered my true identity.
It's shameful that there have been several times in my life when I just quit. I was in a good place spiritually, growing and learning, and for some reason, probably pride, I turned the other direction. So I'm going to give some unsolicited advice to you tonight. I don't mean to sound preachy or condescending, this is just the experience of a weathered, old veteran of the world speaking. I love you folks dearly and if my mistakes can keep any of you from suffering, then I will die with a smile.
When we are comfortable, we are vulnerable. My story is usually that I am devoted, committed, and involved and something turns my affections away from God. It's usually something that I view as a blessing or even a reward. But pretty soon my mind is not as concentrated on the godly things in my life. I begin to see myself as "wiser" or "more enlightened". My commitment to my obligations starts to fade, I'll start weaseling out of my duties, losing interest in the things that I had previously loved. And this is all while wearing the mask and acting like I'm fine. From there, it's a snowball. Excuses come more easily when we are listening to self.
I lose my identity. More precisely, I form a new one. One that suits my desires, my environment, my idea of what I think I should be. I totally and completely turn my back on God. I want to be cooler, I want to be looked upon with more respect from the wrong kind of people, I want to fit in with a crowd, I want to see what life has to offer. I want to walk a different path, one I make on my own. I've even told myself that "I'm just not as comfortable around those simple, churchy people anymore. I've outgrown them." And that's not been that long ago.
Here is truth. I stand firm and confident in telling you that that road does not lead where you think it does. It leads to heartache, sin, and an even longer road back to the ones you have hurt.
So here's the advice part: Check yourself. If you notice your attitude towards God and godly people changing, turn around. If it becomes easier and easier to set aside your duties for something more appealing, then stop! Trust me, these fires start small but they spread quickly and consume everything. Before you know it, you're a long way from home.
Sorry for the "downer post of the day." The good news is that with God, identities are never lost, just misplaced. He is always ready to receive us back, teach us our lessons, heal us up, and restore us. He's good like that, ya know. And those true friends that we trample over in the process? They're there, too. Open-armed and loving, forgiving and understanding, ready to love again.
I may not be super-confident in many things, but this is one of them. It's easy to slip away. That's why the Bible warns us to be vigilant.
See you Friday.
