Third post of the day. Man, I gotta get a life.

Okay. I'm a guy so that means I am visually stimulated. When I hear of place, I need to be able to picture it.

This photograph looks across the Jabbok River to the hill of Peniel. It was here that Jacob wrestled with God.

The Bible says that Jacob sent his two wives, two servants, and eleven children across the ford of the Jabbok. That would be here. I mean right here. Try to picture in your mind the events of that night unfolding. The darkness, the sudden appearance of a stranger, and a wrestling match.

Interesting note: One commentary I read mentions a play on words in the original Hebrew language. God wrestled (ye'abeq) with Jacob (ya'aqob) by the Jabbok (yaqqob). Uh, yeah. I get it.

Hmmm. What does this mean?

Remember my post about Robert? I told you that every time I had visited this McDonald's for three and half years, he was there. Well, since the day of my encounter, I have been in there six times. Not once has he been there. I asked Shaun, the kid who works there, about him. He said nobody's seen Robert. I hope nothing bad has happened to him. But I gotta tell ya, this kinda spooks me.

Revival, awakening, blah, blah, blah

Why do we have to call it something? Can't we be satisfied that it exists and not get all torqued out about "if we call it this then it really means this?"

I think we humans feel the need to put names and descriptions on things because it helps us feel like we are in control, even if just a little. Do you really think God sits up there and says, "You know what? I think I'll spark a revival at Stock Creek. No. Wait. Maybe I had better make it an awakening instead. That might work better. No, no, definitely a revival. Argh! I don't know. I just can't decide!"

Get my point? See, I had many conversations today about last night. I did this on purpose because I couldn't put my finger on what I was thinking about it. I walked away last night feeling something between joy and frustration with a smattering of hope thrown in. So I asked a few people what their feelings were.

The responses were a little of everything. Some are overjoyed. Some are unaffected. Some don't think anything real happened. And some, like me, really want it to be real and lasting. Too many times these things wear off within days. So with my joy and excitement comes a touch of reservation. (I'm like that about most things) At least until it bears fruit. That will be the proof. And I have faith that it will bear fruit.

My only regret is that after the prayer time in the altar, we didn't go back and talk some more. I would like to have had a discussion about the church and its future after we had talked to God about it. I think we talk about things and then ask God to agree with us. Kinda backward, ain't it?

Anyway, whatever it is I say bring it on. If God is in it, it has to be good.

I would like to say thanks to Juri Thomas. I talked to her about how I was numb during the prayer time last night. I just couldn't feel anything at that moment. All these people around me were crying and pouring out their hearts and there I sat, my heart a stone cold, black lump of coal. I was practically begging it to break so I could be part of what was going on. Well, Juli reminded me that I've already been there. "You've already had your slap, why would God give you another one? You're past that, I think." That made me realize that last night wasn't about what I was praying. It was the answer to my prayers.

So here's my word on the matter. It isn't about Stock Creek, search committees, Benji, Dr. Golden, e-mails, jobs, or anything else. It is about God alone. Whatever He is doing is for His purposes and His glory. Not mine or yours. When we stop trying to compromise and start surrendering, laying down all that we hold dear and all that we want, then we will see Him and all His glory. Then we will see the blessing.