Sweet Surrender

For all of my thirty-six years, I have heard stories and testimonies from wonderfully godly people about how they and others have turned things over to God. Some say surrender, release, let go, lay it down, and so on. I have always had trouble understanding this. I am not proud of this, mind you. I'm just being honest. I've never figured out how to do that.

Most of the issues that I've faced have been, well, crippling is the word that comes to mind. When I am troubled by something, something major, it consumes me. This is where I've been for awhile now. Until yesterday. I heard from the Lord on my lunch break. Yes, scoffers, I have been hearing from Him a lot lately and it is awesome. I am enjoying a fellowship with Him that previously I had only dreamed of. So mock me if you will but I sincerely pray for this to happen to you.

Back to yesterday. In reading a book about the power of the Holy Spirit, I was fascinated by how the first century Christians lived and walked in the Spirit. As a believer, I have the Holy Spirit dwelling in me; so do you if you have trusted Christ. But what about the Spirit ON me? What about being Spirit-filled? Hmmmm.

Me? Negative. I confess that I have not been and could not be filled with the Spirit because my heart has been filled with other things. Our hearts are not limitless. There is only so much room in there and the space has to be shared. Some months ago I rid my heart of many things that were, frankly, in God's way. I had chosen to devote only some of my heart to Him. Yesterday, He spoke to me and asked when I was going to release that one last thing. "What?? You mean actually turn loose of it? But I want it. I believe You want me to want it. We've talked about this, God. You gave me these desires, now you want me to give up?"
Then God said, "No. Don't ever give up on what I give you. Just give in...to Me."

Then the Word came:
"Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding, who set its measurements, since you know?" Job 38:4,5

Then I said:
"I have declared that which I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know." Job 42:3

So, surrendered I am. Wow. I am free to be me again, the me that God wants, only now with His desires in place. And I have freed Him to do want He wants, in me and around me. Total surrender clears the way for the Spirit. His promise is that I will have those desires that are His desires. This is the awakening.

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20, 21

I deserve this.

For all of you "I told you so" types, you are right. I am saying it now to keep you from telling me later. I just had a tooth pulled, more like pried, jerked, and yanked out of my dang head. The relief is wonderful but man does it feel nasty. I'm numb from chin to ear. Yes, this is my fault. Years of neglect and tobacco use have left my teeth in a mess. But I am taking steps, finally, to remedy all of that. Oh, and I've given up the tobacco, too. No small miracle. So, there. When I can eat again, I'll make sure it is humble pie.