Now that I have that off my chest, I must say that I'm happy for a new year to come. Not that '09 was bad or I want to forget it or anything like that, but '010, as I'm calling it, is potentially very exciting for several reasons.
According to the lovely Ms. Sarah, I will find my wife early this year, a fact which I'm still in doubt of. I've filed that away in the "Yeah, whatever" category.
But what really excites me is that this year is beginning with something that other recent years have lacked: awareness.
Benji preached it tonight and I've heard it from several others that there is just something missing. Maybe it's nothing huge or catastrophic, maybe it is, but people seem to be longing for more, and that more is a good more. Not more money or more earthly stuff but more God. I believe that it must thrill God to no end when His children recognize that there is room for improvement, sincerely desire that, and seek Him. This means bye bye comfort zones and hallelujah here it comes.
I began to think about past resolutions that I've made. They were nothing more than wishes or hopes really. Seldom have I really decided to allow myself to be changed by God without regret. Usually I end up slinking back into the same old comfortable routines by mid-February. Then later that year I'm pouring out my heart to God asking Him why things aren't different. Why am I still unchanged?
"Talk to me God. Speak. Please! I'm sinking here. What more do You want from me? Let me hear from You. How am I supposed to move forward if You won't tell me which way to go? Are You listening?!? What can I do?"
"Just listen. To Me."
"God, I need to know what You want from me. I'm willing, see? I'm humble and contrite and everything else You say You love, so, what's the hold-up? What else should I do?"
"You could try obeying. I generally like that alot."
"I'm waiting for the go-ahead, God. Ready, willing and semi-able, that's me. I've got my ear to the ground and I'm waiting for a sign. Call me 'Change the World Chuck' because it is on now. Just stop the sun or part Fort Loudon or something and I'll be on my way."
"You don't need a sign. You need to read. I've written it all down for you. Plain as black and white. Pun intended."
So you see how it usually goes; me waiting for an answer that's already been given. I guess I'm just weary of making promises that I don't keep. So this year, and you all are my accountability, I am resolving:
to give God what He wants and that is first priority in my life and all the little parts of me that I've been withholding for so long.
Lofty goals, yes. But He promises to be there to help me and guide me along the way. All it takes is true surrender.
I hope your new year comes with a desire for God's desires.
