Observations

(First of all, newer, happier look. The deary, rainy clouds were getting me down.)

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I'm a brand new Facebooker. Yeah, late bloomer. I've actually been very adamant about not joining in the past, but I was finally worn down.

The story goes, my 20 year class reunion is coming up. One of the reunion coordinator ladies kept sending me Facebook invitations (which I continually ignored). She built it up as the perfect way to stay in the know about reunion plans, reconnect with long lost classmates, blah, blah, blah. Not interested. Then, I had an opportunity come up that will require some nominal networking in the future. So, when I got the next Facebook invitation, things started clicking in my head (not the normal noises I hear), and I realized that it was indeed time to join the rest of civilization.

So I started the process of building my friends list and profile. I've noticed a few things while I've been doing this.

First, the bio. I can't help but wonder how different my bio, and probably everyone else's, would be if Facebook had been invented fifteen years ago. I actually had to stop and think about what I would write in mine. Is that strange?

I'm sitting alone at my computer, creating my Facebook profile and can't think of the things that make me interesting. That's kinda sad, come to think of it. But I actually did struggle with it. I think it's because there have been many different Chuck's through the years.

Our bio's are pretty much determined by where we are in life at the time we're writing them, so at any given time, the bio could be completely different than what it is now. Mine currently reflects that my life's activities revolve around church and what I'm involved in there. But just a few years ago, it would have been about my circle of friends and all the running around we did and how life was a party.

So it's not really a bio. I think it's more of a snapshot. Take a new snapshot every so often and update.

Then there's the "friends." Really? I mean isn't that a very loose interpretation of the word? I'm sure the Facebook founders wanted it to appeal to the lonely hearters around the world but maybe it should be more categorized.

How do you define who friends are? I've always thought that friends were special. Real friends are few and far between and we're lucky if we have more than a few in our lifetimes. Friendships are one of those spiritual-level things, trust and love level things that shouldn't be tossed around based on the whims of the day. But it seems that that view is changing. These days, a friend can be someone you've actually never spoken to in person.

Popping out a request to someone because they seem interesting isn't really making a friend. It's making a contact. I think friends are made through tougher processes.

I've noticed that, when I introduce someone, I will add to the word "friend" based on our relationship. I might say, "this is my good friend" or "let me introduce you to a buddy of mine." But without really ever realizing it, I have a category reserved for those few that I really, really consider a true friend.

I introduce them as "dear" friend. I don't really know when or where I started doing that. I can recall many times over the past few years when I've used that term for those that I know beyond doubt are real, true, walk through hell with you friends. As I said, they are very rare. I think they're getting even more rare, sadly.

So I advocate being able to divide our Facebook friend lists. We should have tags that we can apply to their profiles that describe the type of friend they are. And when it posts on someone's wall, it can say things like, "Chuck is a dear friend of so and so."

Or how about, "Chuck sent a request to this person but he doesn't really know him."

Make friends, y'all. But more importantly, be a friend to those you already have.

Abandonment issues.

I believe I've mentioned in the past that the story of Joseph is probably my favorite in the Bible. Today, I read it again, and once again, am amazed.

First, those dreams. I wonder how it would feel to have two dreams in which you're told you will be head over your brothers and parents? Freaky, I'm guessing. Especially when you're that young and your brothers all come from different mamas.

Then, you oopsie by letting your future-subservient bro's get wind of it. Not good in a culture where order of birth is the only career ladder and you're at the bottom.

But Joe kept on being Joe. He actually went out in to the countryside to check on his brothers who hated him. I'm no genius, but...

So, as you most likely know, Brother A wants to kill, Brother B says no, Brothers C-J decide to sell him and fake his death. Complete with goat's blood chalk outline.

What would it feel like to be abandoned in a pit by your brothers, and all because of Pa's favoritism? I have to believe that Joseph wasn't just sitting there, playing BrickBreaker on his Blackberry. I would imagine he was heart-broken, scared, bawling his eyes out, and wondering what went wrong. One minute he's walking to Dothan to check on his family, his loved ones, and the next he's curled up in a hole, awaiting his fate by their hands. I'm guessing that hurt a bit.

Years later, Joseph is Potiphar's butler. The Bible says that, "The Lord was with Joseph, and he became a successful man." BMOC at Potiphar's crib. Then, the lady of the house gets all touchy-feely and ruins it. Joseph had "found favor in Potiphar's sight" but then Miss "Real Housewife of Egypt"screws it all up. And good master and boss Potiphar puts Joe in the brig. Abandoned again by those he had come to trust.

But the very next verse (40:21) is one of those hallelujah moments for me. It says, "But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love." Apparently, Joseph's being in prison was of no concern to God's overall plan, whatsoever. It was just one more way of showing His glory. And Joseph finds favor in the sight of the warden.

Joseph takes on a sidejob as dream whisperer for Pharaoh's kitchen staff while he's there. He asks the cupbearer to remember him and mention him to Pharaoh, but the cupbearer forgets him. How do you forget the one person who gave you hope while you were in prison? It's beyond me, but still, Joseph is abandoned yet again, for two whole years.

So how would you react if your life was characterized by the people you love, the people you're closest to, the people you trust with your life abandoning you over and over? Me? Not nearly as honorable as Joseph reacted.

All through his life, Joseph faced the pain of being thrown around by the decisions and whims of other people. But there's no indication that he ever let it destroy him. I find that fascinating.

What's even more fascinating to me is that throughout the rest of Genesis (9 chapters), Joseph weeps 7 times. But it's not the "Awww, there, there" kind. He weeps from joy, compassion, tenderness. He has one of those Vestal Goodman hanky-wavin' cries and it involves his being reunited with those rotten brothers from the pit episode, and his diddy.

Wow. A lifetime of people turning their backs on him and he still has the kindness to forgive and let it go. Unbelievable.

I wish I could be like Joseph.