(First of all, newer, happier look. The deary, rainy clouds were getting me down.)
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The story goes, my 20 year class reunion is coming up. One of the reunion coordinator ladies kept sending me Facebook invitations (which I continually ignored). She built it up as the perfect way to stay in the know about reunion plans, reconnect with long lost classmates, blah, blah, blah. Not interested. Then, I had an opportunity come up that will require some nominal networking in the future. So, when I got the next Facebook invitation, things started clicking in my head (not the normal noises I hear), and I realized that it was indeed time to join the rest of civilization.
So I started the process of building my friends list and profile. I've noticed a few things while I've been doing this.
First, the bio. I can't help but wonder how different my bio, and probably everyone else's, would be if Facebook had been invented fifteen years ago. I actually had to stop and think about what I would write in mine. Is that strange?
I'm sitting alone at my computer, creating my Facebook profile and can't think of the things that make me interesting. That's kinda sad, come to think of it. But I actually did struggle with it. I think it's because there have been many different Chuck's through the years.
Our bio's are pretty much determined by where we are in life at the time we're writing them, so at any given time, the bio could be completely different than what it is now. Mine currently reflects that my life's activities revolve around church and what I'm involved in there. But just a few years ago, it would have been about my circle of friends and all the running around we did and how life was a party.
So it's not really a bio. I think it's more of a snapshot. Take a new snapshot every so often and update.
Then there's the "friends." Really? I mean isn't that a very loose interpretation of the word? I'm sure the Facebook founders wanted it to appeal to the lonely hearters around the world but maybe it should be more categorized.
How do you define who friends are? I've always thought that friends were special. Real friends are few and far between and we're lucky if we have more than a few in our lifetimes. Friendships are one of those spiritual-level things, trust and love level things that shouldn't be tossed around based on the whims of the day. But it seems that that view is changing. These days, a friend can be someone you've actually never spoken to in person.
Popping out a request to someone because they seem interesting isn't really making a friend. It's making a contact. I think friends are made through tougher processes.
I've noticed that, when I introduce someone, I will add to the word "friend" based on our relationship. I might say, "this is my good friend" or "let me introduce you to a buddy of mine." But without really ever realizing it, I have a category reserved for those few that I really, really consider a true friend.
I introduce them as "dear" friend. I don't really know when or where I started doing that. I can recall many times over the past few years when I've used that term for those that I know beyond doubt are real, true, walk through hell with you friends. As I said, they are very rare. I think they're getting even more rare, sadly.
So I advocate being able to divide our Facebook friend lists. We should have tags that we can apply to their profiles that describe the type of friend they are. And when it posts on someone's wall, it can say things like, "Chuck is a dear friend of so and so."
Or how about, "Chuck sent a request to this person but he doesn't really know him."
Make friends, y'all. But more importantly, be a friend to those you already have.
