Webster's defines awake as: to cease sleeping, to become aroused or active again, to become conscious or aware of something; to stir up! This word has been used alot lately in my circles. Myself, the people I love, and the ministries I serve in are undergoing an awakening. What does this mean to me?
I first used this word to describe a moment I had with God a few months ago. He awakened me to many things. Mostly what a complete fool I had been by showing me my pride and selfishness. Then, my minister and dear brother Rev. Benji Fowler chose this word to title his Wednesday and Sunday night curriculum. Since then it has popped up regularly in conversation and Scripture. I have even found it in past bible studies of mine.
So what awakens us? What do we do to be awakened? First, it is God who awakens us but not through anything of our own. For me it was simply a recognition that I was drifting from Him. I didn't pray a heartfelt prayer to Him begging Him to restore me. That came later. No, I simply noticed that I was away from Him and wondered how I could get back. I had been aware all along of my actions but my pride stood in the way of admitting it. So I questioned myself and God took the ball and ran with it. I could expound all day about the whys and hows but I don't need to. He showed up and I have been changed ever since. Humility replaced pride, brokenness replaced selfishness, and most importantly, love replaced fear. (1 John 4:18)
Now I seek to obey, to follow and not lead. I have a new freedom that is based on forgiveness. I don't feel guilty for my actions anymore. My sensitivity to the Spirit is heightened and I make no decisions without prayerful consideration and an earnest desire to please God. Yes, I do fail frequently. Self-doubt is my worst enemy. But God is faithful. He has given me love, new love. He has awakened me.
Friday, October 3, 2008
SMACKED!
Have you ever had an experience, a moment, that you just knew you were in the crosshairs of God? I've had two. Recently. "What the crap?", I say. "Isn't this supposed to be for those men of God? Those ordained men who pray and fast and seek God 24/7 ?"
Apparently not. Last night as I was turning in, I had a feeling that I needed to pray a little harder. So I did. I simply told God that I wanted to be a little nearer to Him. Not much, just a small portion more. He obliged. Within seconds I was face down and "the word of the Lord came to Chuck." Hardcore.
In the following moments I was torn to shreds, spiritually, by the overwhelming conviction that Jesus bled and died, suffered a horrific death for.....me. No kidding, right? I mean, this was nothing new to me. I was saved at seven years of age, and , even through my wandering years, I professed Him. I know the crucifixion forward and back. So why did God choose to remind me of His gift? Don't know. Doesn't really matter.
What matters is that God "...created in me a clean heart and renewed a steadfast spirit within me. He restored to me the joy of His salvation" (Psalm 51:10, 12). That's what it feels like to me, anyway.
Next, I was pelted with burdens. Prayer burdens for all manner of things. Some I had been praying fervently for months. This time I was praying them differently. Other things were new. My church, for instance, is going through a tough time. I found myself crying out to God to break hearts in my church the way he had, or has, broken mine. And the big deal about all of this isn't me, (shucks). It is that when I was done, He was done, and I was finally drifting off to sleep, I had the impression that God was saying, " I'm coming to Stock Creek. Got some things I want to do."
Holy Father, thank You for Jesus and His willingness to be the perfect sacrifice, the final sacrifice. Thank You for looking down on me in Your infinite love and blessing me with a new and fresh perspective on why and how I am yours. I praise You for all things and right now especially for knowing that You are on the way, in Your time. Keep me close and hear the burdens and desires of my heart. In Jesus' name.
Apparently not. Last night as I was turning in, I had a feeling that I needed to pray a little harder. So I did. I simply told God that I wanted to be a little nearer to Him. Not much, just a small portion more. He obliged. Within seconds I was face down and "the word of the Lord came to Chuck." Hardcore.
In the following moments I was torn to shreds, spiritually, by the overwhelming conviction that Jesus bled and died, suffered a horrific death for.....me. No kidding, right? I mean, this was nothing new to me. I was saved at seven years of age, and , even through my wandering years, I professed Him. I know the crucifixion forward and back. So why did God choose to remind me of His gift? Don't know. Doesn't really matter.
What matters is that God "...created in me a clean heart and renewed a steadfast spirit within me. He restored to me the joy of His salvation" (Psalm 51:10, 12). That's what it feels like to me, anyway.
Next, I was pelted with burdens. Prayer burdens for all manner of things. Some I had been praying fervently for months. This time I was praying them differently. Other things were new. My church, for instance, is going through a tough time. I found myself crying out to God to break hearts in my church the way he had, or has, broken mine. And the big deal about all of this isn't me, (shucks). It is that when I was done, He was done, and I was finally drifting off to sleep, I had the impression that God was saying, " I'm coming to Stock Creek. Got some things I want to do."
Holy Father, thank You for Jesus and His willingness to be the perfect sacrifice, the final sacrifice. Thank You for looking down on me in Your infinite love and blessing me with a new and fresh perspective on why and how I am yours. I praise You for all things and right now especially for knowing that You are on the way, in Your time. Keep me close and hear the burdens and desires of my heart. In Jesus' name.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)