to reply to her post from the perspective of a Christian male. I hope this helps.
The problem Christian women face with insecurity is due largely in part to Christian men. Just as the females have fallen prey to the world's idea of beauty, the guys have given in to what the world says we should be looking for. The girls are too often trying to be what they think the guys want them to be and the guys are looking for the wrong thing.
Christian guys aren't praying for Godly women, help-mates, prayer partners, or co-workers. They aren't asking God to bring them a reflection of His love.
They are trophy-hunting.
The old saying goes, "Life imitates art." That's more true today than ever before. What we see and hear all around us is that a gorgeous face and a smokin' body on your woman are symbolic of what a superior male you are. And that's the insecurity on the male's part.
A beautiful heart that is in love with God is seldom even considered anymore. God's mercy, compassion, and love lived out in the life of a woman with a firm moral code are frowned upon as weakness. They are thrown away in lieu of an image, popularity and immediate pleasures.
Godliness has been replaced by worldliness. Devotion to God has given way to selfish desires.
Young women see this. They hear it from the world, too. They look for a knight-in-shining-armor type instead of Savior-on-a-cross type. Spiritual leadership is no longer a requirement. Humility and servanthood are overlooked.
And we wonder why so many divorces? It's not too hard to figure out is it?
When we start to look at ourselves through God's eyes, maybe then we will respect ourselves enough to guard our hearts and look for God in others. I'm no relationship expert, I don't think such a thing exists. But I've made mistakes. I've been the mistake before. So I'd like to offer free advice.
Guys -- Make-up washes off. Look for a heart that is filled with the Holy Spirit. The Bible says God is unchanging. Godliness is one quality that is irreplaceable. You don't want your kids raised by Paris Hilton.
Pretty people -- There are no knights-in-shining-armor. It's a lie. Armor rusts and knights are only good in a battle. They serve no purpose in peace time. You don't want your kids raised by a guy who always has a sword in his hand. Someone could get hurt, for Pete's sake! Too much peace-time and your knight might look for another damsel to rescue.
Love isn't a toy. It's a blessing. And like all blessings, it is given by God to be used for God. So look for the things that God can use.
I look at it this way. Too often I've heard, "let God write your love story." Well that's crap. I don't want a love story, I want a testimony. I don't want to spend my anniversaries thinking, "Thanks, God for my smokin', hottie wife."
I want to spend them saying, "Thank You, God for this Godly woman you brought to me and for the way she reflects You in our life. And thanks for giving me eyes that see how smokin' hot she is, inside and out."
Can I get a a-mayun?!?!?
