I love moments like these. Times when everything is going wrong and I can't figure anything out and then God clarifies it all. This happened today.
I'm feeling sort of a push/pull thing right now. I want run but God wants me to stay. I've duked it out with Him for months - futile, by the way - trying to make sense of it all. It's difficult, He knows that. It's depressing, He knows that, too. It's maddening, yeah, that also. "Please let me off the hook, God. You picked the wrong guy." I've prayed that alot. I feel like Jonah, who "rose up to flee from the presence of the Lord." Jonah didn't want to do his job, either. He looked for a way out. He asks to be thrown overboard during a storm, assuring the other sailors that this will calm the seas. I think he maybe saw another way to get away from God there but God isn't swayed quite so easily, trust me. So "the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow Jonah." Do you think he was relieved or disappointed? God commanded a fish to be Jonah's rescuer and to deliver him to where God wanted Him. That is divine purpose.
So today I tell God I'm tired of being a Jonah, trying to run from what He wants me to do, and could He please make a little more sense of this for me. Yes, it really was that whiney. I go on with my day and then come home. Then I saw some clouds breaking.
"So you think you are a Jonah?"
"Yes, Lord. I feel like Jonah."
"Interesting."
"What do you mean interesting? How should I feel?"
"Jonah will be along shortly. You're My fish."
