If Charles Darwin had worked with me today, he would have changed his mind.

If life truly is like a box of chocolates, then mine must be a Whitman sampler.

I worked in the 'hood today. The 'hood. We actually work over that way alot but today I encountered something that left me with one of those stoned out, dazed and confused looks on my face. But then I laughed, uncontrollably, for half an hour.

The location was N. Castle Street, between E. Fifth Avenue and Woodbine Avenue. At lunchtime, I always try to find a shady spot to park in because my work truck is not air-conditioned. Les Miserables, by the way. So today I parked at the dead-end of Castle where there is a gate leading up to "Tiger Tops."

Yes, that would be the rear of the Knoxville Zoo, Gate 9, to be precise. The rear entrance, marked "Danger!" "Employees and Authorized Personnel Only!", is half a block from a residential neighborhood. Did you catch that? Let me re-phrase:

800-pound, predatory felines reside 1500 feet from small children and elderly ladies!!!

That is astonishing, or to quote, "That's asenine." But the large, carnivorous, African cats, a.k.a. "Kings of the jungle," are not the story today.

When lunch-time started, I needed to make a few calls. So I stepped out of the truck and proceeded to make said calls. I don't stand still, for those of you unfamiliar with me. I pace. I ended up leaning against the zoo's fence while I talked on the phone. All of a sudden, and without warning, I found myself standing here. At least it sounded like it.

I'm no Sherlock Holmes but it sounded to me like the barrier between the tigers' cage and the monkeys' cage must have collapsed. I watched the news but didn't see anything about it. Every single monkey/chimpanzee/orangutan/gorilla in the zoo started screaming at once. Not kidding, y'all. The Great Primate War has begun (Opposable thumbs!).

My phone conversation quickly deteriorated. Scientific fact: a human voice cannot overcome the volume of thirty or so pissed off missing links. The noise was unbelievable. You know the sound a monkey makes. Well, that's what I heard, but apparently through a Peavey sound system. And it seems to me that lions and tigers do not care for the sound of primates in unison. So they joined in with growls and roars. It was a completely chaotic symphony of the African savannah -- in the Knoxville ghetto.

So I put my phone away and stood there amazed at what I was hearing. The more I listened, the harder I laughed. Not sure why it was funny but it was. The harshness of the cacophony soon gave way to an enjoyment of hearing something so totally foreign to me. There was a beauty to it, mostly because it's not the usual dogs barking that I hear everyday. It was kind of other-worldly to stand there and be completely surrounded by the sound of it all.

And what would a good jungle safari story be without a little, "Alrighty, then!"

Mele Kalikimaka (only Hawaiian phrase I know, courtesy of "Christmas Vacation")

If only I had found this a week earlier. Go here and scroll down the page for something that will surely make you smile on Monday morning, if for no other reason than the fact that your wardrobe could be much worse. Personally, I hope we all get to wear these in heaven.

I am stoked about Friday night. It's a do-over for me and I always, always make the most of second chances. Even though my singing voice sounds worse than Stewart's blown out throat.

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Happy, happy birthday to Vanessa, who turns an elderly 23 today. Those of you who met her last week know that she doesn't look a day over 22. Still prayin' for your job, Ness.

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Goldy preached a good sermon to the fathers today. I don't have children (I think) (relax, it's a joke) but what he said spoke alot to me, too. His words about leadership, authority, godliness, discipline, being an example by showing an example, and a servant's heart apply to all of us in positions of influence and guidance.

I kept thinking about JGen and the youth. I am somewhat responsible for teaching and leading these most fabulous people, which sucks because I am afraid I'll mess them up. I seem to have a talent for screwing up people's lives. But that's the way God has designed it for now so I keep following and hoping more of Him, and less of me, comes through.

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The house deal is back on, albeit somewhat delayed. That means things that were already complicated just got exponentially complicated. So in a week that is completely too busy, I will be trying to pack and move. Or at least pack. I can move next week if necessary. Anyone who has free time this week who just really likes my company can call me at your convenience. Okay, let's just say anyone with free time.

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And finally, I am really glad everyone is back from camp. I didn't realize it until this past week but these past twelve months have changed me. I've always missed you guys when you aren't around but it's different now. This has been a year of building and strengthening relationships. Last week I didn't just miss everyone, I felt disconnected and lonely. In praying about it and trying to figure it out, God kinda showed me that my days of independence and emotional isolation are behind me. Gone is the time when I didn't need anyone but me. The Friday night crew and its leaders have become what I do. Call it a "calling" or whatever, but God has confirmed to me that "here" is where He wants me.

So that's my sappy time for the week. I love you guys and love having you all around. Don't let it go to your heads.

Have a good week.