If Charles Darwin had worked with me today, he would have changed his mind.

If life truly is like a box of chocolates, then mine must be a Whitman sampler.

I worked in the 'hood today. The 'hood. We actually work over that way alot but today I encountered something that left me with one of those stoned out, dazed and confused looks on my face. But then I laughed, uncontrollably, for half an hour.

The location was N. Castle Street, between E. Fifth Avenue and Woodbine Avenue. At lunchtime, I always try to find a shady spot to park in because my work truck is not air-conditioned. Les Miserables, by the way. So today I parked at the dead-end of Castle where there is a gate leading up to "Tiger Tops."

Yes, that would be the rear of the Knoxville Zoo, Gate 9, to be precise. The rear entrance, marked "Danger!" "Employees and Authorized Personnel Only!", is half a block from a residential neighborhood. Did you catch that? Let me re-phrase:

800-pound, predatory felines reside 1500 feet from small children and elderly ladies!!!

That is astonishing, or to quote, "That's asenine." But the large, carnivorous, African cats, a.k.a. "Kings of the jungle," are not the story today.

When lunch-time started, I needed to make a few calls. So I stepped out of the truck and proceeded to make said calls. I don't stand still, for those of you unfamiliar with me. I pace. I ended up leaning against the zoo's fence while I talked on the phone. All of a sudden, and without warning, I found myself standing here. At least it sounded like it.

I'm no Sherlock Holmes but it sounded to me like the barrier between the tigers' cage and the monkeys' cage must have collapsed. I watched the news but didn't see anything about it. Every single monkey/chimpanzee/orangutan/gorilla in the zoo started screaming at once. Not kidding, y'all. The Great Primate War has begun (Opposable thumbs!).

My phone conversation quickly deteriorated. Scientific fact: a human voice cannot overcome the volume of thirty or so pissed off missing links. The noise was unbelievable. You know the sound a monkey makes. Well, that's what I heard, but apparently through a Peavey sound system. And it seems to me that lions and tigers do not care for the sound of primates in unison. So they joined in with growls and roars. It was a completely chaotic symphony of the African savannah -- in the Knoxville ghetto.

So I put my phone away and stood there amazed at what I was hearing. The more I listened, the harder I laughed. Not sure why it was funny but it was. The harshness of the cacophony soon gave way to an enjoyment of hearing something so totally foreign to me. There was a beauty to it, mostly because it's not the usual dogs barking that I hear everyday. It was kind of other-worldly to stand there and be completely surrounded by the sound of it all.

And what would a good jungle safari story be without a little, "Alrighty, then!"