Here's a good message

I know most of the time we take a write-'em-off attitude toward the older preachers. That's not always a smart thing, as is evident in this sermon by Charles Stanley. This particular sermon really sums up the problem we have with giving it all to God or, as we like to say, dying to self. Our desires and our desire to control our desires kinda gets in the way of that.



If you don't have time to watch the video, go here for the outline.

Dr. Stanley is pastor of First Baptist Church of Atlanta. I've heard very few preachers who preach straight-up truth like he does. His sermons are as biblical as you will find anywhere.

It must be the medication

Last night I commented to someone that I thought I was getting sick. Well, aren't I just the little prophet? My head feels like it's filled with a cookies-and-cream milkshake. And I'm coughing something with a similar consistency. So I'm taking some sort of Ny-Quil, Sudafed, Robitussin, Tylenol macchiato latte concoction. If my thoughts for the day seem random, now you know why.

1) I love hanging around with college people. They are always spouting what Professor So-and-So said about such-and-such. With all the new things filling their minds, they can't help but let it overflow. I didn't attend college, just a year of tech school and it's my greatest regret. I would've done well in college because I love to read and I love to learn. It's almost like a passion. I yearn to learn (ha!). So when I read blogs or have conversations with folks like Spanky, Sarah, Virginia and others, I can't help but soak it up. It's like I get a do-over.

2) I heard one of those hardcore T.V. preachers tonight and they actually made a very good point. In between all the sweating and "ah-huh's", he mentioned that we sometimes treat the church building like the Old Testament temple. He said since our bodies are now the temple of God, we should think of them the way we do our sanctuaries. There are numerous things we wouldn't dare think of doing at church. But if we are the real temple we are supposed to be, those things we wouldn't do at church, we shouldn't do in our hearts and minds. I just thought that was a fresh perspective.

3) I was making one of my favorite dishes for supper, garlic and broccoli rotini. While the pasta was boiling, I laid down on the couch to let my head recover and I dozed off. I burned pasta. Rotini shouldn't be black, I think. That really ruined my day. So I settled for a potted meat sandwich. Yummy still, but not the same.

4) When Balaam's donkey talked to him, he talked back without hesitation. Do you think he wondered what the crap was going on? HIS DONKEY TALKED TO HIM!!! When I read the story, I always have visions of Shrek.

5) The funniest thing I heard today: "This stimulus package, which I hope fails, had better work." --Stephen Colbert

6) For anyone who is interested, Dinner and Danger will be Saturday at 5:00 p.m. in the youth center. Heather will be reprising her role as Bess Page, I will play the role of Frankie Falvo, a two-bit gangster thug, and I'm not sure if any other JGenners are in this one. Come if you can and support Jeff and his on-going ministry.

7) Finally, the Bible verse that really stuck with me today.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. --Romans 8:26, 27

We talked last Friday about the anointing of the Spirit upon salvation. I rejoice in knowing that I have an Intercessor to carry the longings of my heart to God, even when my feeble, human mind can't form the words to express them.

I guess that's all for tonight. I apologize for the incoherency. Everyone have a great day.

Have it your way

At church tonight, Benji talked about Balaam and his talking donkey (you should be proud of me for restraining myself and not going KJV). One of the many things I love about God is how a simple message from His word can actually turn into a knock-your-socks-off sermon.

The point from the sermon that really got me was when Benji talked about God sometimes letting us "win" the argument. Balaam was told by God to not speak evil of His people. Balak didn't like that and kept pressuring Balaam to do so. Easily-influenced Balaam kinda waffled when the princes hassled him about it and God finally said, "Have at it." (I paraphrased)

Then God got angry when he followed. The stubborn old donkey was Balaam's salvation by keeping the angel from killing him and Balaam finally saw the angel and got the meesage. This isn't a very good telling of the story so go to Numbers 22 for the missing details.

Here's the kicker: God let Balaam go with the crowd. I think I can say with all certainty that God sometimes lets us follow our own lead and pursue our desires. Even those He has told us we don't need. In our selfishness and self-righteousness we come to think we know what we need and what is right. So God says, "Fine. Have it your way." We step out of His will and into our own and this usually lasts long enough for us to come near to our own destruction. But I love how Benji described God's Word. "The Bible is the donkey. It will lead you down the right path. You can beat it and scream at it but it knows the safe way and the way that will keep you in God."

In His limitless love, God reaches out and brings us back to Him. He lets us learn our lesson, sometimes the hard way, but He is always there to receive us back, ashamed and broken, into His arms.

Like Balaam, we usually have the perspective of never having seen the danger until it was right in front of us. What seemed right and good and fun turns out to be the sword of Damocles.

This story made me think of how God liked to use animals as vessels of salvation. Balaam had a donkey. Jonah had a fish. Elijah had the birds. Good thing those critters are around, huh?

I just laughed out loud thinking of Brad Stine's bit about Adam naming the animals. At first, Adam gave them all beautiful and glorious names like hippopotamus and giraffe. But by the time he got down to the end, he was over it and just called them what they did. Fly. Ha!

Have a good day, y'all.

The best laid plans...

I had planned to post tonight on deep, spiritual mysteries that would illuminate the souls of all who read. But, didn't happen. I got caught up in reading and now it's almost midnight. So this is all you get.

Uno- I like what Heather and Sarah posted today because I'm kinda there, too. Not downcast or heavy-burdened but just a little foggy. Sarah's right, though. After Disciple Now, you'd think we would all be walking in paradise. But great spiritual awakenings and revivals aren't one-time deals. They are movements and processes. I believe God has hardly begun his work in us and around us. He's going to do things that we can't imagine. If you're like me, you want to see it all happen in one night or one weekend and then sit back and savor it. Don't be like me. Look forward to what's coming next.

Deux- Living in a way that shows Christ to others doesn't always mean that they will respect you or get the point. Today at work, I had a run-in with a guy who didn't particularly care for the design of the job I was working on. He thought it should be done differently. I call it a run-in because what else would you call it when someone threatens to wrap a steel pipe around your head? I'm not sure this was exactly Christ-like but all I could think to say was, "Go ahead. But your just gonna have to buy a new pipe." He walked away looking rather forlorn and malcontent.

Tri-(angle?)- Just something that encouraged me today.


And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, "Where are you?" --Genesis 3:8, 9

It just made me feel good knowing that when I sin and try to ignore God because I'm ashamed, He comes looking for me. He knows that I have placed an obstacle between us and He wants it removed. So He comes to find me and restore our relationship. That may come with consequences and sometimes discipline, but would we want it to be otherwise? Would we want the one in whom we have placed our future and eternal hope to be flippant about our relationship with Him? I wouldn't.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great day.

How to be a man

So today was Baptist Men's day and the sermon from the pulpit was geared that direction. It was a fine sermon overall, but I couldn't help but notice that something was lacking. I'm no preacher so don't take this as a critique of Dr. Golden's abilities. He definitely brings the truth. But today he was talking about how to "cowboy up" which is supposed to be cool guy talk for "be a man." He's from Texas so I'll throw him a bone on that one. I couldn't keep from thinking about one of my favorite verses:

When David's time to die drew near, he commanded Solomon his son, saying, "I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man." --1 Kings 2:1,2

King David knew a little something about being a man. And not just because he slew lions and giants. He struggled with the things common to all men. He made tough decisions that got people killed. But he was also tender enough to write a ballad of love or a psalm of appreciation to his God. David was a man because, no matter how many battlefield victories he had, no matter how many wrongs he committed, no matter how the nation of Israel prospered or floundered under his reign, David knew that victory, peace, joy, and success were found in the hands of the Lord. And God Himself testified to this by referring to King David as "a man after my heart, who will do all my will." --Acts 13:22

The dying King charged his son with a command to be a man. He then goes on to tell Solomon how to do this. This is King David's own definition of how to be a man:

"...and keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in His ways and keeping His statutes, His commandments, His rules, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn." --1 Kings 2:3

Being a man may mean fighting for truth. It may mean defending your family or the sheep. But more often than not, the way to be a man is to kneel. Fight on your knees with God's word hidden in your heart. Here are a few examples from the Bible of men who showed their strength and masculinity by yielding to God and letting Him win the victories:

Abraham
Joseph
Moses
Joshua
Samson
Gideon
Samuel
Hezekiah
and on and on and on and on.

The list is un-ending. One of my favorite examples is Peter. Peter was hot-headed, know-it-all, and ready for a fight. I think of him as sort of the crony/henchman type. He was quick to promise and slow to deliver when it counted. But Peter became a church founder and one of the greatest preachers in history. But only when he traded in his own strength and manhood for that found in service to his Master did Peter's heart change from that of a fighter to that of a lover. Peter came to realize that strength is found in humility.

Of course, the ultimate example of anything, especially a man, is found in Jesus Christ Himself. With all power at His disposal, Jesus chose humility and shame. He chose to not fight, but rather to be beaten, abused, ridiculed, and killed. Jesus even said that He could save Himself if He so wished. But He chose to sacrifice Himself for us. He put others, all others, before Himself.

Most Christian men are willing to humble themselves to a point; the preservation of their pride being that point. But Jesus humbled Himself to the point of death. That, to me, says that love is the greatest proof of strength. We don't need to get in tune with our inner hunter/gatherer, we don't need to find in ourselves the wild heart of God, and we don't need three-day, animal skin-wearing, bathing optional retreats. We simply need to lead in surrender to the Almighty One, the real Man.

Back on track

I started this blog because I needed a place to preach. I needed a pulpit and an audience because God has given me a message to speak. I think I have drifted away from that purpose by trying to opine with the crowd. So, read it or don't. Agree with it or don't. The choice is yours. My choice is to follow the call.

And He said to all, "If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my a sake will save it." --Luke 9:23, 24

First of all, let me say that this is the call of JGen. To deny one's self and follow Christ daily. Continual, moment-by-moment denial and rejection of the world, and our desires to be accepted by it. This is discipleship at its purest and most earnest.

Jesus' disciples knew that to "come after Him" meant to join company with Him and His posse as they walked about ministering in Palestine. As was said this weekend, and by Benji for the past fifty or so years, true salvation isn't just believing, it's following.

We can't follow half-heartedly. It's an all or none deal. Jesus didn't take His cross part of the way. He didn't take on half of the world's sins. He didn't die for half of mankind. It was for all. Or for none at all.

How many times I have made a commitment to turn my life completely over to God, only to find myself unchanged a few short weeks later. It's because I only went half-way. I released a few things to Him; the obvious things that everyone knew about me. This makes for a good show of obedience and gets some hearty amens from the old-timers. But those things that I held onto were anchors.

I can't take up my cross if my hands are full of my desires and treasures. They must be laid down and left behind me. Jesus took His cross and carried it to the point of His death. If we wish to follow Him, we must be willing to do the same. It's a decision that will lead to rejection, isolation, suffering, and even death. But as is written Hebrews 12:2: "...who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame."

Jesus suffered the shame of a public, naked execution, and the pain of torturous death for the future reward and joy that was promised. Most likely, our suffering will be much less than His. But our reward will be the same. I don't know about you, but that sounds like love to me.

Daily self-denial and contempt for the world is the path of Christ. It's the path to righteousness and to eternal joy.

What are the treasures in your hands? A home? A job? Wealth? A relationship?

You have a mansion in heaven. You have a purpose in Christ. You have eternal riches. And you have a love that cannot fade away.

Re-cap

It's hard to know where to begin talking about Disciple Now weekend. So much has happened in three days that it may take multiple posts to cover it all.

The students were awesome. My group of middle school boys were everything I thought they would be, from sweating and stinking to beating the crap out of each other with boxing gloves. Literally. We had two black eyes, three cut foreheads and a busted lip. And they loved it. They never once got mad at each other, they just kept on playing.

As you can see from the pictures on the right, nine boys have about the same power as a category 4 hurricane. And the same respect. Everything was fair game at Benji's house and, amazingly, there was no property loss.

I want to say thanks to all the leaders for doing a great job. I love and admire each of you and count it a blessing to serve with you. Knowing your hearts for our church and the student group is a source of strength and joy for me. You are truly the spirit of JGen.

I believe something wonderful happened this weekend. I prayed for D-Now for over two weeks that God would do something life-changing in someone's heart. That He would show Himself to someone and lead them closer to Him and His desires. I believe that miracle happened. I can't wait for the coming days as we hear testimonies about the ways God moved in people's hearts and lives.

For me, D-Now showed me alot. The most important of these being that God has me where He wants me. But He wants me to give more to it. He is doing marvelous things at SCBC and I praise Him for letting me be involved. But He also demands more from me. I need a more biblical way of living so that He can be seen.

Speaking of seeing God, at the New Year's service Benji challenged us to ponder what we wanted this year. I was immediately drawn to Job 42:5 which says,

I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You.

I believe I have seen God in 2008 in ways I never imagined. He has revealed Himself to me on a personal level and literally touched my heart. But I'm not satisfied. I want to focus this year on seeing Him more. "May the vision of You be the death of me" was a line in a worship song this weekend and it made me crumble. I've never felt so singled out. That has been my prayer for months and this weekend God let me know that we all will be seeing more of Him. Our Jacob curriculum spoke to me in Genesis 32:30:

For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.

Jacob had to deal with consequences of his actions and the actions of others. But he came to see God as his own. He came full circle with Esau. And he came to the death of himself for God's purposes and glory.

I confess here and now that I pray for my death. The death of my ways, my desires and my glory to Him so that I can be delivered. So that He can be glorified in His ways and His desires.

I pray for the heart that God touched this weekend. I pray for the one that made the tough decision to make changes for Him. I pray they know they are not alone. That God is calling all of us to do the same.

Disciple Now Kickoff...

...was a blast! We had about 45 there and ten or so more to come Friday. This is gonna be big.

We started off with cardboard testimonies and it was really cool to see all those kids sit still and be speechless. You could tell they were getting it but in true young person style, they were not sure if they wanted to acknowledge they were getting it.

Next we met our "families" for the weekend. Benji and I have the middle-school boys group. They really are great, despite the stereotypes. Although most of the stereotypes are true. The best part was coming up with a nickname for everybody. Here's a rundown because it's too funny to pass it by. First, the Breakfast Club:

Tanner Kerlin is "Bacon".
Austin Grindstaff is "Gravy".
Tyler Walker is "Sausage".
Josh Coleman is, appropriately, "Ham".
Anthony (Miller?) is "Cheerios".
Bennett Fowler is "Grease".
And my favorite, Dylan Blume is "Tenderloin".

Hunter Payne is "Head" because he has an enormous head for his size.
Landon Raby is "Sasquatch" because he wears about a size 23 1\2 shoe.
Benji is "Mullet" because I told the guys about his high school hair style.
He, in turn, named me "Stache" because of the Tom Selleck mustache I had from eighth grade through graduation. I was actually just trying to be like Doug McNeil (Vanessa, please pass that along :).

Finally, we performed our skit. It worked out extremely well and I think the kids began to see how temptations come subtly but effectively. I'm looking forward to prompting them to talk about the skit (skeet). Thanks to Hannah for doing the t-shirts and Virginia "Mean Train" Rule for being the bouncer at the door. I played "cruelty", fittingly, and Cody begged me to slap him which I obliged fervently. Heather did a great job being the idea person and I can't wait to perform Part Deux on Sunday.

As you can see, it's going to be a wild weekend. We're going to have insane amounts of fun. But honestly, the thing I'm looking forward to the most is just being around my family. That, to me, is fun. The joy that comes from hanging out with these youth, the college kids, Benji, Heather, Ryan and Juli, Rachel, Don and all the others involved is immeasurable. Virginia said it right, it is safe. It's strength also.

God is moving. He has something great in store for us. He has already done some marvelous things in the preparation for this weekend. Keep Disciple-Now in your prayers. Keep SCBC Students in them, too.

Sarah and Spanky --hurry up and get back in town. I missed you two tonight.

Day of Prayer

Today has been filled with prayer. I can't remember when I've felt so close to God. Thanks to Virginia for suggesting the day of fasting and to Don for suggesting the prayer meeting tonight.

I've never had much luck with fasting. I'm an eater. Big-time. I'm a three squares kinda guy, with a few extras thrown in. But today, God gave me a hand. I'm not kidding. On Sunday when fasting was called for, I thought to myself, "Yeah, okay. I'll play along. But by 10:00 a.m. I'll be willing to sell my third kidney for a Twinkie."

That's not what happened. From the time I woke up this morning, I haven't really even thought about eating. I've been thinking about God. I've been thinking about D-Now, the leaders, the students, Jacob, Jonah, and Jesus. I've been thinking about JGen and post D-Now. I've been thinking about the people I'm concerned about, the heavy hearts, the ones walking the tightrope, and the kids I hope will show up this weekend. There are some that I call "special needs" in a spiritual sense.

So thanks to God for showing Himself to me today in a different way.

As long as we're expressing our prayers:

Father, thank You for a wonderful day. Thank You for Your closeness and for helping me through something I usually fail at. Come near to us this weekend as we seek Your face. I pray the students' hearts will be opened to You. Many of them are hurting, many are searching, and some of them don't know how badly they need You. Show Yourself to them in a real and undeniable way. I pray that, even if they forget about Jonah or Jacob, they will come away with a desire to know You more, to seek after You, to surrender to You. I pray they will be willing to sacrifice in order to draw near to You.

Lord, work in the hearts of the leaders. Conform us, break us if you must, so that we can truly lead and not just teach. Help us to lead the kids by example in obedience and surrender to You. May they look at our lives and simply see You and Your love for them. Bring us together as one family with one purpose in mind --to bring glory to You. Amen.

So here we go. Cardboard testimonies, skits, games, lock-ins, and all. Disciple-Now is upon us and not a moment too soon. The anticipation is becoming unbearable.

And proof that God is real? I went all day without a Mountain Dew, or even a fudge round. Gimme an amen, Spenser.

I absolutely LOVE this!!

With so much going on at church right now, it's kinda hard to keep up. Disciple-Now is here and the excitement surrounding it is electric. The leaders are excited, the kids are excited, I think even Ryan is excited, and there's not even a ball game involved.

I love to see a buzz about God. I love to see commitment and passion for the things we're doing. I love it when people care that it's done right.

Let's face it, there are a hundred ways to do something and a hundred people will each have their own way. But the great thing about developing a family (more on that to come) is that those one hundred ways become one. Willingness and compromise are essential to unity. And that's what I love more than anything--to see people work it out.

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works." --Hebrews 10:24

A little stirring up isn't necessarily a bad thing, right? It means to provoke. I think sometimes we are provoked to be passionate, to care. In those situations there is opportunity for God to be glorified. Because no matter how it gets done or what it ends up looking like, it's all for Him. And the family is just a little bit tighter afterwards.

As always, I'm only about half-informed. But kudos just the same.

I am fired up!!!

If I get any more excited about Disciple-Now, I will probably have a heart attack. I believe we are poised for "it". The thing we have been praying for, working toward, and waiting on for years. D-Now feels like a launching pad.

I met with Benji for about an hour yesterday after work and for the first time in a long time, we didn't really talk shop. We just talked. Sarah's post earlier in the week about insecurities burdened me about some dusty, old cob-webs deep inside of me. So during our conversation, I voiced these to Benji and it just might be the most liberating thing I've done in years.

Back to D-Now. At Benji's last night, we planned for our upcoming weekend. I was almost getting emotional just listening to everyone's ideas and willingness to be involved. Sure we want to have fun, but we also want the younger kids to get it. We want them to grow in God and find their place. We want them to stand apart from the world in order to influence it. The college kids have a heart for the youth and I love them for it. And the college kids love to have a good time with their ministry, too. All the more reason to love 'em.

Those of you who follow my blog but don't go to Stock Creek have no clue how special these JGenners are. I'll take the opportunity right now to thank God for bringing me to Stock Creek, for calling me to lead and shepherd students, for placing other leaders there that are like-minded and easy to work with, and for Benji, who understands the importance of his position and uses God's wisdom to love these kids and lead them closer to Him. I especially thank God for the kids --from sixth grade to college. They are awesome people, faults included, who usually teach me more than I teach them.

So Disciple-Now will be awesome. No doubt about it. I can't wait to spend the night at Benji's with a group of middle-school boys. I'm not sure if that makes me insane or suicidal. Either way, bring 'em on.

I think something's wrong with me. No, really.

Am I the only one who cracks up every time I comment on someone's blog? It's the crazy word verification thing. I am in the habit of making up pronunciation for the silly words they make you type in.

Words like:
presouc
gnixle
trumpboa
crancgur
buglump
yterlie
wrangdurl
tordurfel, and
qwerbledy

Maybe it's just me. But if you don't do it yet, I bet you will now.

My personal contribution to mankind. You're welcome.

On the accountability front

Accountability being the talk of the day, I've been thinking alot about it and why it's so hard sometimes. Why, if love is the foundation of the commandments and of everything we believe, do we love up to a point? Why do we limit love?

Fear? Fear of isolation? Fear of losing all we really love? Probably so. We don't like to think about stepping away from the crowd. We don't want to stand for what is right because, too often, nobody else is standing with us. We don't love others enough to trust them and we are afraid they don't love us enough to understand or respect us, or to follow along.

Accountability has to be built on love. We have to love the family enough to want to hold them accountable for their actions. And we have to trust in their love for us enough to be open and honest with them.

This is something that is very dear to my heart. I've blogged about it before here , and here, too. God wants His people unified, acting together, and loving each other.

I can't wait for the day when love explodes around us. It's getting there. We still need a little tweeking. But all this going around now about being there for people and leaning on them when we need them is absolutely awesome. God is changing hearts and revealing Himself to people in truly glorious ways.

So the way to make accountability work, for real, is to do the thing we always talk about doing but never get around to -- we gotta surrender it all. We have to let God have our hearts so He can let us see others the way He sees them, as unique, special, and worth loving.

It's time, y'all. Time to unleash love on a community and a world that needs it above everything else. Any takers?

Sarah gave me permission...

to reply to her post from the perspective of a Christian male. I hope this helps.

The problem Christian women face with insecurity is due largely in part to Christian men. Just as the females have fallen prey to the world's idea of beauty, the guys have given in to what the world says we should be looking for. The girls are too often trying to be what they think the guys want them to be and the guys are looking for the wrong thing.

Christian guys aren't praying for Godly women, help-mates, prayer partners, or co-workers. They aren't asking God to bring them a reflection of His love.

They are trophy-hunting.

The old saying goes, "Life imitates art." That's more true today than ever before. What we see and hear all around us is that a gorgeous face and a smokin' body on your woman are symbolic of what a superior male you are. And that's the insecurity on the male's part.

A beautiful heart that is in love with God is seldom even considered anymore. God's mercy, compassion, and love lived out in the life of a woman with a firm moral code are frowned upon as weakness. They are thrown away in lieu of an image, popularity and immediate pleasures.

Godliness has been replaced by worldliness. Devotion to God has given way to selfish desires.

Young women see this. They hear it from the world, too. They look for a knight-in-shining-armor type instead of Savior-on-a-cross type. Spiritual leadership is no longer a requirement. Humility and servanthood are overlooked.

And we wonder why so many divorces? It's not too hard to figure out is it?

When we start to look at ourselves through God's eyes, maybe then we will respect ourselves enough to guard our hearts and look for God in others. I'm no relationship expert, I don't think such a thing exists. But I've made mistakes. I've been the mistake before. So I'd like to offer free advice.

Guys -- Make-up washes off. Look for a heart that is filled with the Holy Spirit. The Bible says God is unchanging. Godliness is one quality that is irreplaceable. You don't want your kids raised by Paris Hilton.

Pretty people -- There are no knights-in-shining-armor. It's a lie. Armor rusts and knights are only good in a battle. They serve no purpose in peace time. You don't want your kids raised by a guy who always has a sword in his hand. Someone could get hurt, for Pete's sake! Too much peace-time and your knight might look for another damsel to rescue.

Love isn't a toy. It's a blessing. And like all blessings, it is given by God to be used for God. So look for the things that God can use.

I look at it this way. Too often I've heard, "let God write your love story." Well that's crap. I don't want a love story, I want a testimony. I don't want to spend my anniversaries thinking, "Thanks, God for my smokin', hottie wife."

I want to spend them saying, "Thank You, God for this Godly woman you brought to me and for the way she reflects You in our life. And thanks for giving me eyes that see how smokin' hot she is, inside and out."

Can I get a a-mayun?!?!?

God sure was busy last night

I couldn't wait to get up today and tell you guys about my awesome experience last night. Then Heather stole my thunder. Nevertheless, I'll share mine, too.

I haven't been sleeping lately. At all. Maybe two or three hours each night and that is frustrating and really makes life hard. Last night wasn't much different.

At around 11:30, I knew I wasn't going to get to sleep anytime soon so I decided I would use the time to talk to God. So I started praying. I started with my frustrations over sleeplessness and then just kind of listened for Him to talk and bring things to mind. Without realizing it, I started pacing the room. I was walking in a little circle on the rug in my room in the dark. I told God about my fears and all the things I was worried about. I prayed about JGen and church, for Benji and his desires, and for all the people I love and want to see changed by God. Then, silence.

No God. Nowhere. That really bothered me. So I started screaming. I wanted to know where He was. I wanted to know why He wasn't listening. I wanted to know why He loved everyone but me. Still pacing.

"I haven't gone anywhere."

Whew! Relieved, I was.

"I told you I would always be there and I will. I'm quiet for an hour and you freak out. Either you trust Me or you don't."

For the next little while, we talked on and I prayed about the things I've been praying about for a long time. And I prayed about the things I don't know how to pray about. The things that I don't know how to feel about.

But He was there the whole time. Calming me down, comforting me, showing me His love. Just hanging out. And letting me know He was working. Letting me know that those prayers weren't just chatter, that they mean something to Him. He treasures them.

"What else do you do when you love someone?"

"I do things that make them happy. I trust them. I respect them and value their opinion. I put their needs before mine. I listen to them. I talk to them."

That's what God did last night for me. He reassured me. He spent time with me. He came as strength to my weakness.

When I woke up this morning, I looked at my rug. There is a path worn down in the carpet that looks like South-Doyle's track. I spent about three hours walking that floor with God last night. That may not be a record mile but it's a mile closer to God. It's steps toward knowing Him more and becoming more like Jesus.

The Three P's

We finished up our Sunday night study tonight on "Awakening." It's been a great study and really sets up where we are going next. I can't wait for the new study to start.

Tonight's topic was suffering. We talked alot about how Jesus suffered and how we can rejoice to share in the sufferings and persecutions that He faced. But Benji and I had an interesting conversation early tonight about when suffering and joy are linked.

Pain, pleasure and purpose--what about when they are all in the same place? What if the source of the suffering is also the source of joy? Jesus suffered for us, in our place. But it was also His purpose here to do so. He took great pleasure in redeeming us because of His limitless love for us. So His pleasure in becoming our mediator could not come without the pain associated with His persecution and death.

Sometimes it is so with us. The place of our pain is also where our pleasure lies. The two are inseparable. We sometimes have to face the fact that God has us in a place that we want to be but we fear at the same time.

But would we want it to be otherwise? I think not. Would we choose a normal, mediocre life on cruise control where all is quiet, there are no ripples in the water, no risks, no heartaches to drive us to our knees? Too many people all around us have chosen this existence. Life is meant to be simply survived and then we rest in glory. No pain but no impact.

Paul said, "...all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." That tells me that safe and protected isn't what the Lord had in mind. A difference-making, impactful life that is lived for Him is lived where there is risk of pain and fear of heartache. But that's where God is. That's where there is opportunity for blessings, miracles and greatest joy. That's where obedience may be found, and where the Holy Spirit dwells.

So to all of us who duck and dodge suffering, that's fine. If you want a normal life and a regret-filled deathbed. But I think I'll opt for a life lived to greet death with a smile. One glimpse of His face will erase the pain. Live like Jesus, "who, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross."

"You're an idiot."

On Wednesday night, Benji and I had a conversation in the youth room closet. Ha, ha, go ahead and make your jokes; yes, we eventually did come out of the closet. Hang with me, I'm making a point here. Done laughing? Good. Moving on.

So the fact that we were in the back closet isn't really important but it is relevant because I was struck by the fact that church doesn't always happen in church. You see, what happened in the closet was I received a word from God, through Benji, that turned out to be the real Spirit-moving event of the night.

I went to church in a foul mood. I was cranky. Lack of sleep, lack of food, a rotten day at work, and just me being a butt in general. So I went to church not really wanting to be there in the first place. I knew the atmosphere would be light and jovial because of the New Year's party and I did not feel like being the least bit light or jovial. But I found Benji, in the closet, just to say "hello," and see how his day went.

Then he asked how my day was. Big mistake.

I unloaded on him. I don't typically pour it out like that to people but he opened the door. So I went on about how the day sucked, how I wanted to be anywhere but there around all those stupid, happy people having fun (you people, that I dearly love, by the way), and how on the drive there I asked God just to help me have a little fun. Not for any great spiritual awakening or revelation, just fun.

Well, as he always does, Benji laughed at me. I think his exact words were, "You're an idiot." Thanks, pal. That helps a bunch.

But then he went on to talk about the things that God is about to do, things we have previously agreed will be awesome. Disciple Now, JGen, and Romania are going to be special. Special as in earth-shattering, God-moving, and life-changing. He talked about his personal life and mentioned how Satan was working against him there in a familiar way and pointed out that I was facing the same thing.

So I started shaking off the funk and talked a little more and soon I was breathing easier. I went on to have one of the most fun evenings I've had in a long, long time. And I single-handedly won one of the quickest games of "Psycho" in modern history (my greatest contribution to Stock Creek in five years). Thank you very much. No autographs, please.

All I'm trying to say is this. Some days are tough. Our emotions are fickle and will betray us. Bad moods happen. But when we turn our focus on ourselves and think "woe is me," like I did, we run straight into Satan's arms. And right now is definitely not the time for that.

Satan is not pleased with the way things are going. He is starting to turn up the heat on us. Be stronger than I was. Don't let despair and anxiety take you down. Here is what I came away from that night with:

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12

And also:

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:2,3

Umm...just a little hazy

I finally slept last night. Five whole hours. That's twice as much as I've been getting lately. But as I read my last post, that I wrote at 3:30 this morning (five hours is five hours, no matter what time it is), I noticed how tired I really was. So I thought I'd try to clarify the cross-eyed babble from earlier.

The point I was trying to make, and I'm always trying to make, is that God's love is the only thing that's going to save this world. And I don't mean the "Jesus loves me this I know" kind of love. I'm talking about living love. The kind that people can see and feel just by being around us Christians.

I think of Jonah, again. Jonah is probably wishing I would leave Him alone for once. But God wanted Jonah to proclaim His love and mercy to the Ninevites. But He first had to show that love and mercy to Jonah. Jonah had to learn it for himself.

That's us, y'all. That is where the surrender comes in. We try to teach lost people to surrender their heart to God. We tell them that He can solve all their problems and make them a new creation. But do our actions show it? Do they see us living out the Word like we are trying to get them to do? What I mean is, can they believe what we are telling them by looking at us? Let me put it this way: Would you buy a Pepsi from a Coke salesman?

We can't lead others to Christ buy selling them a false Gospel. The Bible talks about false witnesses and hypocrites. How often does that describe us?

I hope that clears up the mud a little.

Lookin' Ahead

I'm really hearing alot from God right now about surrendering to Him. I know this gets discussed all the time by all of us but how seriously do we take it? It's called surrender for a reason. It's a battle between Him and us. There are victors and vanquished in every battle and this is no different. One way or the other, we will be defeated.

So why not just give up? Why don't we just resign ourselves to the fact that He knows best and we can save ourselves a whole bunch of heartache by letting Him have His way?

I posted on JGen about the cost of getting all of God. It's giving Him all of us. That means living out His Word. That means living apart from the world so the world can see we are not like them, that we are looking ahead to something greater. Why do we think that's such a big deal? You know how frustrating it can be when you're trying to convince someone that you're right? Well how do you think God feels? All these wonderful things He wants to do through us and all these blessings He wants to give us and we won't even stop to consider that He might be right. Of course He's right!!!

Life's too short and the world is too messed up for us to be doing our own thing. Too many people are dying without Him, too many people aren't living like He wants them to, and too many people get too little love. He is the source of all love. Those people out there can't feel love without Him and we are content to sit back and horde His love for ourselves. No, no, no, no ,no! We are to take His love to them so they can experience it. We don't love them for Him, we are supposed to love them to Him.

I don't mean to be so emphatic about this but the longer we think we can love without His direction, the longer those people are without that love. That's really the great opposition to giving ourselves to Him, I think. We want to love our way, for our benefit. We think that loving and living His way will somehow short-change us. That's not how He works. Doing it His way is the way to that "abundant life" Jesus spoke about.

So that price? That cost? Yeah, it's high. It will hurt. But not as much as hanging on a cross.