I apologize for the poor quality pictures but it's the best I could do with a cell phone and a shaky hand. I wanted to share something with you tonight that makes my heart leap with joy. It's something that God showed me tonight.I attended a Chris Tomlin concert tonight (Captain Obvious quote of the day). I could go on and on with things like, "Dude! It was AWESOME! He's like the greatest singer ever! It was the best concert I've ever been to!" But I'm not going to do that because that's not how I feel. Yes, it was a fantastic concert and he is definitely gifted. It was probably one of the most worshipful times I've ever experienced. But the story is in what that worship yielded.
About a year and a half ago, I went to see Tomlin on the "Indescribable" tour here in KnoxVegas. I sat through the whole thing, never standing, never singing along, and waiting for the end. I thought it was stupid and the sermon by Louie Giglio was a bunch of ridiculously overblown statements that were just meant to argue with the scientists.
Around the same time, I also attended two TobyMac shows, and also with the same attitude if not worse. I griped and complained for weeks leading up to the concerts and sat sourpussed through the whole thing, ranting and raving about the no-talent idiot turning back flips off of the drum riser.
Then, almost exactly one year ago, we had a "concert in Hawaii night" in youth. Benji showed Audio Adrenaline's farewell concert and we all dressed up in Hawaiian clothes and wore leis. And again, I stood at the back with some of the kids' dads making fun of the guy on screen who couldn't sing anymore and doubted out loud if he ever could.
Yeah, that was me. Chuck, the wonderfully worshipful youth leader guy with the great, big, open heart and love, love, love for everybody. Baloney.
Tonight, God spoke two words to me: Full Circle.
I never sat down. I sang every word of every song. I cried like a little girl who lost her dolly. I screamed my lungs out singing songs that are about ten keys too high for me. I prayed. I jumped up and down. I lifted my hands. And I loved it.
My CD player holds six discs. The artists currently in there are TobyMac, Audio Adrenaline, Chris Tomlin, Third Day, and Jeremy Camp. When I'm in a really good mood, I rock it out to Boomin' and Ordinary Love. Friday afternoons leaving work, I listen to Free Ride. Jesus Messiah never fails to touch me. And I consider Lay Down My Pride to be my own personal theme song. That, dear friends, is what we call a changed heart. Only God can do that.
I'm sure you've figured out that this post is not at all about music. It's about the change that can take place with just one brief moment with God. One touch from Him and pride dissolves, bitterness washes away, and a cold, self-centered heart fills with love for the things it hated. It was pride and stubbornness that caused me to act the way I did in the past. I didn't have any real problems with those things, I was just too focused on myself to even want to join in and share everyone's fun.
There is true freedom in surrender. I never fully realized until tonight just how life-changing those first days of confession and brokenness were. God has brought me full circle. I think now I'm wiser and closer to God than before I turned away from Him. Not because I like different music. But because the reasons I disliked it are long gone.
