Blahg.

Complete with fashion model-type leg pose. Sarah had a headache on this particular evening, which I have diagnosed as altitude sickness. Say what you want about them, but I think they're purty. And they can sure put away some seafood.

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Next, I learned tonight that Legos are a Danish invention. Why that's interesting, I have no idea. But there are approximately 50 little, plastic Lego blocks for every human being on the planet. That's a lot of semi-circular squares, which is all I've ever been able to build with them.

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Next again, I assume you all heard about the fiasco with the French soccer team during the World Cup. Apparently, one of the players had it out with a coach or something, and the rest of the spoiled, over-paid, bratty, Frenchy futballers walked out on a practice in support of the original spoiled, over-paid, bratty, Frenchy futballer. Birds of a feather...

I heard (on BBC World News America) a street interview with some French people who are obviously rather put out with their national team. I nearly hyperventilated when one of them said (in an Inspector Clouseau voice), "It shames me right now that I am French, but, c'est la vie!"

Gotta love the French.

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Now, some tragic news. I went to the doc today for some recurring aches and pains. For the first time in my life, I have high blood pressure. High enough to have to carefully watch it for a few weeks, anyway. Lose weight, watch what you eat, exercise more -- I thought that was the normally prescribed cure. Well, I'm actually about 7 pounds underweight and get more than enough exercise due to the nature of my jobby-job. So I guess it's stress-related. Actually, I am very aware of what is causing my heart to work like an overloaded locomotive (didn't tell that to sawbones) and have determined that there is no quick fix. Oh well, c'est la vie. But that's not the tragic part.

I also have severe, extreme, violent, hostile, belligerent, war-mongering, bent on my demise heartburn. I've actually had it pretty much every day for the last three years or so (didn't tell him that, either). As we were discussing remedies, he asked if I still used tobacco. Umm... yep.

"That needs to go."

Ouch.

"Do you have a high caffeine intake?" Do six Mountain Dews per day qualify as high intake?

"That needs to go."

Ouch. And dang.

"Do you eat much chocolate?" Man! This guy hates me!

OUUCCCHHH!!!

"Might you recommend putting honey in my ears and having me fall asleep on an anthill?"

For those of you who don't know me, fudge-flavored, Mountain Dew snuff runs through my veins. And in one 20 minute doctor's appointment, this bird has been asked to stop singing. No Fudge Rounds, no Mountain Dew, and no chewing tobacco. I ask you, what kind of madman would ask Michaelangelo to stop painting?

So, Lord help me, I have to make some changes. Three 25-year addictions must end. I'm wagering that I will end first.

But I'm in search of a new bad habit, if anyone has suggestions.

"What's all the hub-bub, Bub?"

If anyone of you tried to drive through east Knoxville on Saturday, then you most likely experienced some difficulty. Pictured above is the reason why. It's a big, honkin'... red thing.

Actually, it's a steam power generator for Virginia Power, and it caused me to have to get out of my comfy bed at 3:45 am.

I have no idea what it's gonna do or why it's so big or any other details, but I do know that it cost 40 million dollars, plus an additional 10 million to move. It came from Germany via ship to Forks of the River Industrial Park.

My job, and that of three of my co-workers, was to stay ahead of this thing and make sure the phone cables were high enough for it to pass under. Mission accomplished. Barely.

In the photo, you can see just how close it came to the cables. The shiny, silver thing in the lower-right corner is the fairlead on the aerial lift I was in. We use the fairlead to grab the cables and move them around. I was approximately 20 feet over the road when this thing passed and I very easily could have reached down and touched it as it went by me.

It really was amazing to see something this big moving down the road. It was around 225 feet long and weighed around 640 tons. That's 1,280,000 pounds. Earlier in the day, I was standing about two feet from it's tires as it went by me and I could feel the ground undulating as it rolled by. It was kinda freaky feeling.

So, I snapped this picture after it went under the last cables I was responsible for. Two minutes later, I was packed up and heading for home, nine hours after it first moved out. Nine hours. Seven miles.

Anyway, nothing of any great importance but it was something you don't do everyday. And it was gravy overtime. We only had to lift cables about three times. The rest of the time, we waited.

Oh! By the way, this was the first one. I'm told the next one is bigger. And is it just me or do the "OVERSIZE LOAD" signs make you laugh?

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

This one's for the ladies...

The sun, the waves, the glistening sand... and a quarter-slot. Paradise does indeed exist.

There you go, gals... you're fairy tale come true.

Funniest quote of the week... so far.

I'll get to that in a minute, but first, I have a secret. Most folks don't know that I have a secret obsession. Supercars. More specifically, European-bred, Formula One inspired supercars. They are called that for obvious reasons.

Most of the models that fall into this category are unbelievably expensive, mind-blowingly fast, and look more like functional art than a daily driver. They come with horsepower ratings above 500 and top speed ratings that good ol' Amurrikan cars would blush at.

Pictured below is the Lexus LFA. Brand-new, Japanese, and my current choice in the 300,000 dollar range. Performance-wise, there are better, less expensive choices. But I just really like the looks of this car. Smooth. And it's been called an engineer's masterpiece, because of all the gadgets and innovations that have gone into it's 9-year conception.

I get my supercar fix each week by watching Top Gear on BBC America. It's quite possibly the most informative car show, and possibly the funniest show on TV. Three awkward British guys testing cars and trying to completely embarrass each other is hard to beat. Which brings me to the quote.

In a recent episode, they were interviewing their celebrity guest for the week... Mark Wahlberg. He's a car guy, as most celebrities are. The host was asking him about his car collection and emphasized that he owned a Mercedes Brabus. The host then asked Wahlberg, "Doesn't Tom Cruise also own one of those?"

I've never cared much for Mark Wahlberg until this moment. He gave the British guy a "do I look like I care" look and replied:

"I don't really know. We attend different churches. I'm at the one with Jesus."

I blew Mountain Dew and Copenhagen across my living room.

By the way, I'm saving up for this purchase, in case your led to make a donation. I currently need $274,990.00 Thank you for your support.

Uh oh... it's that word again.

When the word "accountability" is mentioned, you can just see people tighten up a bit. I wonder why that is? For the most part, people will agree that accountability is what's missing in most Christian circles today. Everyone seems to believe that we all should be held accountable to each other for our actions but nobody ever really gets around to doing it. At least doing it correctly.

We discussed this in Sunday school today. Eli and his boys were judged by God and the whole nation of Israel was disciplined because of the lack of accountability on the part of Eli the "fat" priest. Samuel, being the godly and obedient one, had to confront Eli about his sin and proclaim God's judgment on his family. Later on, Israel was completely routed by the Philistines; the sons, Hophni and Phineas, were killed, and clumsy Eli broke his chair and died. Israel also lost the ark of the covenant to the Philistines. And such is the discipline of a holy God.

So, applying this to our lives today, is our level of accountability at a point where God would intervene and discipline us accordingly? How many times have we been aware of the sins of our closest friends and turned a deaf ear? How often do we ignore the counsel of those who approach us and confront us about the sinful things we are doing?

Let's face it. You can all think of several people in your close circle who are involved in things that don't agree with God's standards. And we can all point out things like that in our own lives. Mostly, we just go along, ignoring these things and acting like it's none of our business because if we get involved, then we are opening ourselves up for others to get into our business. So we play dumb. We don't want to be judgmental, after all. We act as if it's not our place to speak up against sin.

But the Bible clearly says otherwise. Here in 1 Samuel and later on in most all of Paul's letters, we are expected to be each other's spiritual alarms. What good is true fellowship without it?

What would happen if we really believed that ignoring sin was a bad thing? Sin is destructive behavior and leads to destroyed relationships, pain and heartache. It can hold back entire churches from fulfilling God's purposes. It can and does destroy lives. But we act like it's not a problem if we don't rock the boat. We think that because of God's deep love for us, sin is just something that He'll overlook just like we do.

We are fond of quoting Scripture that proclaims the unchanging God. He's the same as He's always been. But we act like He's become a mellowed out old man who doesn't have the stomach for being tough on His children anymore. That's what He did in the Old Testament; laid back, hippie Jesus took care of all the bad stuff and He isn't as strict.

Grace has become a "free spin" on Wheel of Fortune. It's a coupon that we cash in when we feel heat from our conscience due to our wrongdoing. Play the grace card, say a quick altar prayer, maybe roll out a tear or two, and it's all good. Clean slate.

I think that we don't really regard sin as a bad thing anymore. We aren't disgusted by it, we don't run from it, we don't view it as an obstacle in our relationship with God. We simply dismiss it as part of this fallen world, we're only human and, bless our hearts, one day we'll be free from it but until then, we'll keep throwing ourselves on the grace wagon.

Grace is the greatest gift God ever bestowed. It's a result of the awful punishment that Christ endured for us. When we blow it off as our own personal cop out, we mock the crucifixion. We treat Jesus worse than those who persecuted Him. At least they took Him seriously.

If we really want the things we say we want, then we need to start recognizing and confronting sin. We have to get over our habit of prioritizing sin and realize that, ultimately, bad language is just as destructive as rape. Lies are just as harmful as murder. Selfishness and pride influence people's view of the power of Christ just as much as drug abuse and pornography.

The church is struggling in today's world. We can pat ourselves on the back all we want but, overall, lost people are dying lost. The gospel isn't being spread. People's lives remain miserable and unchanged. God removed His glory from Israel due to her sin and lack of accountability and reverence. Do we think we are any better? Are we above the discipline of God? No, but we act like it.

It seems to me that the reason true accountability is so rare is because we don't want to be unpopular. Standing up for God's standards is no easy thing, and in our minds, doing so will cost us those treasured friendships. Honestly, this is my weakness. Who wants to be in a crowd of one?

So standing strong requires standing together. When we all commit to turning our backs on what we think is right and return to God and what He says is right, then maybe we'll start to see Him glorified in the community, and beyond.

Your homework is this: begin to change your attitude toward sin. Be willing to listen to those who love you enough to confront you about the harmful things in your life, even if you aren't willing to admit that they are harmful. And be aware of each other. Pay attention to the people you love, watch for behavioral changes and changes in attitude that may be indicators of something going wrong.

I doubt you'll have to look very far or very hard. Real love means getting involved. Staying out of the way is just loving and protecting yourself.

Death Journal #2

First, I'm sure you noticed the changes. Just playing with some new Blogger features. I'll settle in a few days.

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I posted a few days ago about contemplating death. I cheesed that one up a bit but I still have some thoughts about it.

So, what if? What if death was certain to come long before it was expected? I'm still working from the perspective of the last few months of 2010 being the last few months. Ever.

In thinking about all of this, I've realized that nearly everyone has an idea of what they want their life to be, but it's always from hindsight. That is, looking back on their life from their deathbed, taking inventory and hoping that it was something worth remembering. Preachers talk about this a lot when they are on the topic of leaving legacies or living a life of character and whatnot. But I've been thinking about what my life has meant up to this point, if this were the last point.

It seems to me that family-oriented people want to be remembered for the way their children turned out. Those who have multiple young 'uns seem to almost always form some sort of long term plan and center everything around guiding their kids into that plan. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying anything against that. Whether it be family businesses or raising a family basketball team, some folks put their legacy into what they leave behind in their children.

For others, it's their career. These people are easy to spot because they are the ones who live their work. You know the type. No matter if they're at home, church, Food City, mowing the yard, or on the john, they have Blackberry in hand and they are talking about the office. And they manage to take a work-centered, spiritual approach to everything.

I could go on and on about the different views people have about how life should look from the far end, but what about the differences those lives make in the lives of others? Isn't that why we're really here to begin with?

I think of all the people I know and have known and how different all those folks were from each other. I have been blessed to get to know so many people in my quickly lengthening life and I think I've taken something valuable from each of those relationships. Even the ones that were less than favorable influences on me. Each and everyone of those people had some idea of how they want to be remembered.

Some want to be remembered for being fun-loving and well-liked. Some go through life craving a sort of worship and hope that people will talk to a picture of them after they're gone. Some very godly people I've known just want to die knowing they have reached lost people. Others want to be mentors and apostles. And some people probably don't really care how they're remembered.

As for me... I've given this considerable thought and I think that I could, whether tomorrow or years down the road, pass on satisfied if someone could stand at my funeral and say that I loved them at a time when they didn't feel lovable, if I brought them a sense of calm and peace when their life was going to hell. Maybe that allowed them to see Christ when they needed to experience His hope and comfort the most.

You know, after re-reading that, I think I better get busy.

Death Journal

On Sunday morning, Padre Johnson challenged us to contemplate death. Specifically, our own death. It wasn't really a challenge, I guess, just something he mentioned in passing with the point that if we've never thought much about death, we might want to. Well, okie dokie.

Actually, I thought it was a strange idea but it has stuck in my head so I've been giving it some thought. He probably meant death as in eternity, heaven/hell, death or life, but I've taken a different approach.

Imagine that.

I've been taken with the idea of what would it be like if my death were expected sooner rather than later. How would things be if, suddenly, my death was a certainty? Yes, I know it is certain but I mean like before the rest of you go in the impending apocalypse of 2012.

For instance, a lot of people dwell on the question of what people will say about them in the future. I recall a comment from Dolly Parton (of all people) when she was asked what she wanted people to say about her in 100 years. She replied, "I hope they say she looks good for her age." It's funny to me how some use humor to be evasive about an obviously uncomfortable subject.

The thought of death is much more ominous and disturbing today than it used to be. Life used to be hard. Even the well-to-do of centuries past weren't guaranteed a long, happy life. In fact, the philosophy of "pursuit of happiness" was a completely unheard of concept until Thomas Jefferson wrote it in the Declaration of Independence. Therefore, people didn't dread the thought of passing on into paradise, they embraced it with anticipation. But today, we do indeed live the good life. Exceptional medicines, scientifically enhanced foods, bio-friendly emissions, and physically un-stressful occupations have all helped to extend the years of life. And that's just fine for most of us. Live long and live happy, push death off as long as you can.

So, back to me. I've been wondering, "What would my immediate circle be like if I found out that I wouldn't last the year? How would my friends around me react?"

Ryan might say, "Can I have your TV?"

Juli would most likely say, "This is because of your tobacco use, isn't it? I told you it would catch up with you!"

Isaac would say, "Bye bye, Chutsie!"

Sarah would wonder where she would go for cookies. Spenser would probably say, "Hang on a minute while I check the scores."

And Virginia would most definitely say, "Yeah, I know. I overheard you tell someone else."

And on and on it goes. Of course, I'm having a laugh at the expense of others but that's just what I do. I actually have many other, more serious thoughts on the subject but that will take other posts. It's interesting to think about. You should try it.

Encouragement! Yes!

"I will transfer you my energy, I will transfer you my karma. Here is my karma... on you."

Weird day. Heck, weird week. My body is at work while my mind is still on vacation, 400 miles away. The effects of that have played out very strangely.

80's music. Yes, you read that correctly. I've fallen into a phase where I am nuts for the music of my youth. Maybe that's normal in some universes, but not in mine.

Not just any music from my middle school years will do. No Ah-Ha, no Bangles, no Flock of Seagulls, no Bananarama. If those titles confuse you, then you were born after I entered high school. I've been listening to the good stuff. And it amazes me just how good it was.

Seriously, when you think of the 80's, you probably giggle a little. It was definitely excessive, materialistic, over the top fashion statements and all, but the music was amazing. I mean that from an artistic perspective, not from Casey Kasem's top 40 list. Sure there was the fluff, but some of it was just mind-blowingly good.

I have decided that every wannabe bass player and drummer should be forced to learn this song from Journey. I think I have a shirt like Steve Perry's in my closet.

Probably my favorite, for pretty much every reason, is this one. Songs today just aren't arranged like that. Anyone who considers songwriting or composing should listen to this long and hard, and then reconsider their choice of profession.

Well, that's my little trip down memory lane. Might be Alzheimer's setting in. That would explain why this post went from Salvador's yoga to Toto in about three sentences.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go trim the plushtache.