Today I finally sat down and made out my Christmas list. Not the one I give to Santa but the list of who I want to give something to this year and what I will get for them. Yeah, I'm a little behind.
I was noticing how this list changes from year to year. The names on the list, at least some of them, are different from last year. What does that say about me?
At first, I felt incapable of maintaining a relationship for more than a year. That's not outside the realm of possibility. But then I thought of how God has worked in my life this year and all the unbelievable things He has done around me and in the lives of the special people in my life.
I've changed a lot this year. The fact that I'm listening to Jeremy Camp, Audio Adrenaline, and Sanctus Real while I write this testifies to those changes. But the changes that caused those changes are much deeper and more real. God showed His love to me this year by simply not letting me go. And He changed my heart. It hasn't been easy and at times it's been maddening but as Sarah said, "Rain makes things grow." "Things grow in valleys," is the way Heather put it, I believe. So, at times I must dwell in the rain and in the valley. But that causes me to remain dependent on God and to grow. Pain or not, that's a fair trade.
I'm working with a short list this year. Not because I'm a Scrooge or a penny-pincher, but because there are a few people who stand out as those who have made an impact on me this year. And since this is the time of year when we celebrate God's showing of love to us, then I'm celebrating the love I've been shown by these folks. To me, that's what gift-giving is about. Saying, "Thank you." It's not about obligation. As always, it's about love.
