A fun, old-fashioned, family Christmas.

Christmas 1989. I was a senior in high school and Hollywood released this classic. Can you believe it's been twenty years?

I place this third on my all-time favorite Christmas movie list. First is Holiday Inn, with Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire, and second is White Christmas, with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye ("...because we loooove him, we loooove him...").

Okay, I'll be honest. I really, really wanted to post the clip of Cousin Eddie emptying his RV's turlet into the sewer because it's the funniest line ever in a Christmas movie. But I chose not to because of the language. Funny, still.

Actually, this movie is the king of one-liners so I could go on and on and on. But there are still 24 more days til Christmas so I have lots of time.

Anyway, there's no real point here except that today is December 1, so that means that it is o-fficially the Christmas season. And that makes me giddy like a schoolgirl. I love this time of year.

I'm kickin' it up a notch this year because I'm just really excited about Christmas. I've already got my tree up, it's the one that is brighter than most of the stars in the sky. Not kidding, my tree's lights are intense. Six foot tree, 600 white lights. And I finally got to put lights on the outside of my house. That's something I've always wanted to do but never quite had the house to do it. My neighbor's wife drove by the other day while I was on the roof and yelled, "Looking good, Griswold!" I was thrilled.

There's no special reason that I can think of, I'm just looking forward to Christmas. Hope you are, too. So get in the spirit. Watch your favorite movies, listen to all the music and just enjoy the season. It only comes once a year.

"You wanna hurry it up, Clark? I'm freezing my baguettes off."

This is what happens when you have a long weekend and no plans.

I love long weekends. Heck, I love short ones, too. But this Thanksgiving has been awesome! I feel refreshed, recharged, rejuvenated, and just overall re-done. Well, mostly. Enough to get me through to Christmas, anyway.

But I took on a new task this weekend. I have started researching my ancestry. I was watching one of the thousands of documentaries on television about the Pilgrims and the Mayflower, Plymouth Rock and the first Thanksgiving (which was actually just the harvest feast that they always had) and all the other events that are focused on this time of year. This particular show spent alot of time talking about the Mayflower Compact. To refresh your history-based memory, this was the document that the Pilgrims wrote as their "purpose statement" so to speak.

The first thing about the Mayflower Compact that struck me was the reason they gave for undertaking the journey. It says:

Having undertaken, for the Glory of God and the advancement of the Christian faith and honor of our king and country, a voyage to plant the first colony in the northern parts of Virginia, do by these present solemnly and mutually in the presence of God and of one another, covenant and combine ourselves together into a civil body politic, for our better ordering and preservation and furtherance of the ends aforesaid....

This is just an excerpt but click here if you want to read it all.

So, first of all, their Tom-Tom needs calibrating. They didn't quite end up in Virginia. But, hey, close enough when you're out of food, water, and everybody's falling over dead. Second, they paid proper tribute to the king (King James, yeah that one) and declared that what they were doing was partly for the honor of "king and country." That's funny to me since I've always been taught that they were running from an oppressive, tyrant king in order to save their religious beliefs from extinction. We'll talk more about King James in a future post, when I feel like tearing down the train of thought that says he was practically a saint because he ordered a Bible translation and was immortalized because of it.

*Disclaimer --No problem here with the KJV, just with the attitude that it's the only real and true translation.

Moving on. What fascinates me the most is the line above that I've highlighted. According to their own words, they weren't merely trying to rescue their faith. They weren't trying to preserve their faith. They were trying to advance their faith. I would imagine that all of the signers of this document would be appalled if they saw all of the corruption and idiocies carried out in the name of religious freedom. If I understand this document correctly, the Pilgrims weren't looking for a place to establish different churches and faiths, where people were free to fabricate any god, or gods, that suited them. They undertook this impossible journey for God's glory and to further the Christian faith. No room for interpretation there.

Now, back to the part about my ancestry. The very first signer of the Mayflower Compact was a man named John Carver. He was also the first governor of the Plymouth colony and was instrumental in organizing the voyage in the first place. How did that information escape me for the better part of thirty years? No idea. But when I heard his name the other day, I couldn't help but wonder. I doubt that there is any relation but all of this caused me to question just who I do come from. So, I started looking. And yes, smart alecks, my tree does fork.

No real progress, yet. I'm still gathering information on the Carver side. Grandmother Carver's side (her mother's maiden name was Wolfe) is the Cherokee bloodline so I don't expect that to be traceable for too many generations just because of the lack of record keeping.

On my mother's side, I've had some great success. My great-grandmother's maiden name was Nipper and I've actually followed that line back to 1538, tentatively. I say that because I'm still trying to verify each person, their birth and death dates, census records, and each source and each record that I have found. I'm nearly 100% certain back to about the late 1600's. It's tedious work, y'all. But I have found out that those ancestors of mine came from Scotland. That makes sense because this area was heavily settled by Scottish immigrants in the pre-colonial years. But still, it's something I never knew about my family so that makes it very cool. If anyone has any Wallace's, Brannon's, Henderson's, or Hamilton's in their genealogy, I'll see you at the reunion next year.

And my mother is a Pressley (thankyouverymuch), so, I guess that explains my uncontrollable hip gyrations and upper lip twitch; not to mention the buttery smooth voice.

What can I say? I'm just a hunka, hunka burnin' love.

Have a great Monday. I gotta go buy a white, rhinestoned jump-suit.

In the spirit of the day...

"I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which He has called you, what are the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of His power toward us who believe..." --Ephesians 1:16-19

I want to say thanks to God for some of the blessings He has given me in the form of people. No man in history has ever been as blessed with friends as me.

I am thankful for the people who pray for me and with me, who encourage me and counsel me, who hold me accountable and forgive me, who hurt with me and rejoice with me.

I am thankful for the people who help pick out my clothes because I think plaid and polka-dots match well, who sweat with me and grapple with me, who sing with me and complain with me, and who overlook me when I just can't help being a jerk.

I am thankful for the people who learn from me and teach me, who share their stories with me and appreciate my feedback, who pick at me and pester me, who know me well enough to understand when I am doing the same, and who laugh with me.

I am thankful for the people who come to my house and hang with me, who eat with me (cookies!), who enjoy a stupid movie with me, who keep me from feeling my age, who trust me, and who let me watch them grow in the Lord.

I am thankful for the little people who absolutely light up my Sunday nights with their dancing and screaming and yelling and uncontrolled worship, who, for no good reason, have dubbed me "Uncle Chip," and who make me long for innocence again.

I am thankful for the people who love me and aren't afraid to tell me, aren't afraid to show me, and allow me to love them in the insufficient ways that I do.

And I would be way out of line if I didn't say how thankful I am for a God who loves me enough to die for me, who loves me enough to bless me, and who loves me enough to shatter me so that He can further show that love by putting me back together.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

"For we do not contend against flesh and blood..."

I'm re-reading (for about the umpteenth time) This Present Darkness, by Frank Peretti. If you've never read it, you should. Like, right now.

It's about angelic warfare over a small town and the changed lives and exposed secrets that develop, and all because of one man. He's a preacher that is new to the town and takes on the task of straightening out his congregation and shepherding them back to God. Relevant much? Oh, too much. Oh, much too much.

Now, as much as I do love a good UFC-type throwdown between good and evil, the part of the story that makes me read it once or twice a year is that it portrays not only the unseen things of battle in the spiritual realm, but it shows the causes and results of those battles.

In the story, the forces of evil refer to the small church preacher as, "the praying man." His name is Hank and his prayers and humility, love and devotion are the source of all the unrest for Satan and his fallen angels. They try to discredit him, orchestrate his ruin, and even get him thrown in jail. In each situation, he prays. Several times, the angels of God are being overpowered by the fallen angels but the prayers of Hank and his faithful congregation go up to God and cause the heavenly warriors to gain strength and victory. Oooohhh... chills, man.

But what gets me choked up every time is what happens when one of the lost souls or one of the troubled characters in the story finds God. The angels gather, swords raised in victory, and sing praises to God. The greatest victories in the story aren't the engagements between the armies, they're the engagements between Savior and man.

And the praying man keeps praying. His passion and faithfulness cause others to join in the fight against the evil in the town (even a newspaper journalist, if you can believe that), and eventually...

No spoiled endings, here. Just read it. It's considered a Christian classic and should have been made into a movie years ago. But fictional stories aside, I can't help but think of what could happen if one pastor, one man, uttered heartfelt, agonizing prayers to God in intercession for his flock. Sound uncommon? I know this is the way it should be but is it really that way?

When is the last time you spent time with God in anguish? Have you ever agonized over your prayers, over someone? Have you ever spent considerable time with God that had you broken-hearted for someone other than yourself? Maybe for your church or your "flock", such as your circle of friends?

I think it's way past time for us to start drawing together the way the Bible commands. It's time we started bearing burdens, confessing sins, praying fervently, and loving each other. If you want a real eye-opening experience, go back through everyone's blog archives and read what we were all writing one year ago.

I think we're easily distracted.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

I haven't posted in about a week, which is a long time for me. This was unintentional. I haven't been overly busy or anything, I just have had a hard time putting my thoughts into words. It happens. I usually take those times to chill out, read, and let something come to me. In my life, and considering the people I'm around alot, it doesn't take long for a word to pop up.

The Sunday school lesson I taught this morning was from James 3. Taming the tongue (ouch!) was topic of the day. Jimmy starts out this chapter by issuing a warning to those who wish to teach the Word of God. He says that we will be held to a higher level of accountability so we should choose our words wisely in order to keep from misleading people about God. Just listen to some of the sermons floating around today and you can see that James was very aware that the message could be corrupted.

It's all about truth, I think. Truth is absolute. People can take the Scriptures and twist them, turn them, manipulate them, re-arrange them, or re-define them, but that won't change the truth of what God has said. He doesn't change, His Word doesn't change. The Way to Him hasn't changed no matter what century or millenium you live in.

Faith in God isn't about finding a way to ease our minds. Too often the pursuit of God is nothing more than looking for something to believe in that will allow someone to live how they want to live with an eased conscience. Truth isn't considered at all. If they can fabricate a reasonable theology that makes sense to them and allows for comfortable living, then they are satisfied. But I wonder how many souls cross over into eternity to the instant recognition that their god was just an idea? How many are sentenced to eternal darkness and their greatest anguish is that the true God they refused to see is real and living, and the enemy they refused to acknowledge spends eternity scoffing at their pain?

We must speak the truth; choosing our words carefully, based on the Word and not our own opinion. As James wrote, it is impossible for true praise and worship to come from the same mouth that lies, manipulates, gossips, and profanes.

Our speech is an indicator of our spiritual condition. I know all too well that when someone's speech starts changing for the worse, their actions will soon follow. This is what James meant by the example of the ship and rudder. Sin will show itself. Most of us have become proficient at hiding our sins but our tongues will usually give us away. Evil speech is an indicator of sinful lifestyles.

I was really struck last night by how important it is that we choose our words carefully. I received an email from someone who said they stumbled across this blog while searching for churches in the area. They had some very encouraging words for me (which I appreciate greatly). But that shows how necessary it is for all of us to let God guide our speech. You never know who will hear, or read, your words. Read the rest of James 3 and see how the wisdom that comes from God is the fix-it for poor speech.

Happy Monday! Let's hear it for 3-day weeks!

Something about vines and branches...

Here's a quick story from my Monday.

Today I had the pleasure to work in lovely Maynardville, Tennessee. Ah, yes. I feel like I should wear a smoking jacket and puff on a pipe when I think of it.

If you've ever paid attention (not that you would), some telephone poles have guide wires that extend from the top to the ground, diagonally. Their purpose is to provide support for the pole because the cables are under extreme tension (roughly 3000 pounds of tension). They are technically called "down-guys." Don't say I never enlightened you.

So today, we worked a pole that had eight guys on it. Four would be considered alot of guying, by the way. But being in lovely Maynardville, Tennessee, the pole stood in an overgrown area. Before I could begin replacing the down-guys I had to deal with the jungle of vines that had grown all the way up them.

So I grabbed the machete. We keep it fairly sharp for just such an occasion. I started hacking away at these vines, careful to maintain physical integrity to my limbs. I actually nicked my ear once which stopped my heartbeat until I gained the courage to reach up and make sure it was still attached. It was.

Anyway, I swung and hacked and chopped and sweated and bludgeoned and just about every other verb you can imagine for nearly 45 minutes. Vines are tough, y'all. But I couldn't help but think of John 15. Not kidding, when I first saw all those vines and how they were wound around the down-guys, this is the first thing that came to mind.

As I tried to remove them and fought against their strangle hold, I thought about how Jesus said that He is the True Vine. These weren't grapevines that I was dealing with and there were no branches shooting off of them, but I couldn't help but marvel at how strongly they clung to the wires. They were twisted and laced all through them, nearly making the down-guy itself hidden in the vine.

I wonder how easily it is for us to be separated from our Vine. I wonder if we are nearly hidden from view because Christ is wound and twisted and laced all throughout us, making us invisible to the one with the machete. When the world comes at us, machete bared, to try and hack away the Vine and expose us, are we easily divided from Christ? Or have we allowed Him to gain such a strangle hold on our lives that the world drops their machete and walks away disgusted and frustrated?

Just some thinking from me, but I hope we all cling to the Vine as tightly as He clings to us.

Adam and Eve -- Redux

I've been wondering about the first couple... no, not the Obama family. I mean the very first couple. I think we sometimes forget that they were real people. We maybe assume that they were just mindlessly walking around in the garden, all Luna Lovegood-ish, sort of incoherent and dazed. I hope no one is offended by this but try to imagine them in the context of how we modern folk feel and relate to each other.

Think about it... God wanted Adam to have a mate, helper, companion, compadre, partner, an help meet, call her what you choose. So Eve was made from Adam, only she was made in the garden. Adam was made and then placed in the garden. Maybe that explains some of the differences, maybe not.

But the point is, the Bible says that God made for Adam a helper fit for him, or suitable for him, depending on your translation of choice. She was just right for Adam, although he really didn't have any point of reference so I suppose she was that "one in a million", or at least one in one.

I just think it's really amazing how God made things for a certain purpose right from the start. This was the first woman ever made. God could have made her any way He wanted to but He made her to suit the first man. He made Eve to match Adam, from and for Adam, and ultimately for the purposes He had planned. Nothing random, nothing by chance or coincidence. I'll wager they even shared the same likes and dislikes.

Can't you just imagine some of the conversations they had?

I bet she oohed and aahed at what a good animal-namer he was.

"Honey? Does this nakedness make me look fat?"

"Babe, I'd choose you over any other woman on the planet."

"You're the only one for me."

"Hi. I'm Adam. You're Eve."

"I'd slip into something more comfortable but that's not really possible."

"Hey, Adam? I'm hungry. Think I'll go out for a bite."

Do you ever feel like...

just collapsing? I don't mean just because you're tired or had a long day. I mean spiritually collapsing.

I've kinda been feeling like just throwing up my hands, not in a "I'm over it" way but in a "I want to crawl up in Jesus' lap and let Him hold me while I cry" kinda way. Just drop everything and scream out for help.

I've felt this way for a few days, maybe weeks now. At first I felt guilty about it because I don't want to get exhausted by the things I do. That's when service can turn into obligation and that's just a bad place to be. But reading Elijah's story gave me a new perspective.

God told Elijah to rest. He told him to be fed and gain his strength because what was coming next was gonna take some serious energy.

So tonight I took a needed rest. I broke my normal routine so that I could stay home and relax and think about God. I'm blogging about two hours earlier than usual which actually feels better, like my mind is clearer. Next, I plan on reading until I drift off to wonderland.

If I can decide what to read. I'm currently reading four books simultaneously. I'm sure you'll hear about that later.

Clash of the Titans

Juli and Virginia had a little battle of the babes before Creekfest. I think I scored it a draw but it was one for the record books, to be sure. In this picture, Virginia plays the intimidation game with the "Mean Train look."

And here, Juli scores a body shot. Perfect technique. One thing's for sure, I wouldn't want to mess with a Seymour chick.

So Creekfest was a blast and a huge success. Those responsible (Benji and Sharon, pretty much) have given our community something that was badly needed and looks to only grow in years to come.

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In other news, I've been noticing something going on that affects us all. Maybe it's just me but has anybody else paid attention to the overall message that God has sent our way?

What I mean is that all of the lessons and quarterly studies and small-group studies and messages, everything is pointing in the same direction. I'm not talking about the 99% answer here. Of course it is all supposed to point to Christ. But think with me for a moment.

Sunday School -- My class has been in a study that is focused on combatting "casual Christianity." I believe all of the Lifeway publications for this quarter are the same, which means that each class in our church is studying the same thing. That's a good thing because this study is about really getting rid of the things that are standing as barriers between us and God and getting serious about becoming the children He wants us to be. Simply put, stop living the lives of compromise that we have convinced ourselves are acceptable and live like we are truly different and set apart.

Sunday nights -- We've been in a "Pursuit of Holiness" now for a while and it's really great. The lessons have all been focused on certain attitudes and actions that we as Christians have allowed to distract us from who we are and what we are here to do. We've looked at what the Bible has to say regarding these things and also at some traits and fruits that we should be exhibiting more. Again, it's geared toward living lives that reflect who we belong to.

Wednesday nights -- Benji's been leading us through some of the psalms. We've seen how King David has struggled at times in his situations and how he always finds comfort in his God. God grew him through those tough times, even dangerous times, and he enjoyed a deeper and more meaningful relationship with God as a result.

Crazy Love -- We're only two weeks into our study but it's becoming very apparent that choosing this study was no accident. The main theme of the book is that we need to shake out the cobwebs and get serious about what our relationship with the Creator of the universe should look like. We are loved by the Source of all love and that should affect us in more ways than just how we talk when we're trying to play the part. One very cool thing is that I've heard of several other groups of people in our church who are considering starting this same study, and all without knowing that we are doing it. That is SWEET!

Sunday mornings -- Dr. Golden has had us looking into the ten commandments and, so far, the message is that God is it. Everything. None of the other things in our lives that we worship can save us or even make us better. It's all about God and we need to "trim the fat" so to speak, We need to get our lives focused on Him and let our lives reflect His love and power.

So here's my opinion on all of this: I believe that God is screaming at us right now, in His still, small voice, of course. I think He has a message that He wants us to hear, and that message is for us to get over ourselves, look to Him and see Him for who He really is. We must realize that God has something unbelievable that He wants to do through us and He wants us all to be on board.

Simplicity is the key. All of these things I've mentioned are leading us toward that, I think. When we get to the point that we view this life in Christ as simple devotion (2 Corinthians 11:3) then all of the stuff we hold on to and all of the junk that comes with it will fade away. We must choose love. His love allows us to love Him, to turn away from our other gods, to seek more of Him but especially to give Him more of us, all of us. Then we can help each other along that same path, in deepest love for each other.

G'day.

One more thing about Elijer

I withheld this last night because I rambled on too long about other stuff. Imagine that, huh?

After all that Elijah had been through, the ups and downs, victories and flights, he snapped. He tells God in 1 Kings 19:4 that he's had enough and wants to die. He's over it.

But God isn't done with him. He tells him to rest up and be fed by God because his next journey can't be done in man's strength. Elijah goes to Mount Horeb to meet with God. Horeb is another name for Mount Sinai, where, of course, God spoke to Moses and delivered the Ten Commandments.

When God asks what Elijah's doing there, he replies with a negative prayer about all the misgivings of Israel. He never mentions the awesome miracles that God has performed recently. He has let the evil resistance of a single person, Jezebel, turn his attitude sour. A woman can do that, ya know. (Kidding, ladies. Not really, but, yeah.)

So God tells him to go outside the cave and stand before Him. Then a "great and strong wind" blows so hard that it broke the rocks into pieces. But God wasn't in the wind. Then an earthquake, I suppose more rocks broke, but God wasn't in the earthquake, either. As if those weren't enough, next came a fire, but God still wasn't in the fire. Then came a low whisper.

I read that the Hebrew for this means, "a thin silence" (Sarah, check me on that). When Elijah heard the whisper, he came out of the cave with his face covered. Then a voice spoke to him again.

What blows me away about this is, first, that God had told Elijah to come out of the cave. He didn't do this until he heard the whisper after all the commotion. With the mountain falling down around him, he doesn't get curious until he hears next to nothing, a thin silence. So why all the racket in the first place?

I wonder how often in my life, and yours, does God tell us to get before Him and we hesitate. How many times are we hoping to hear from God and a strong, powerful wind blows through? We think, "This is it, the big one. Surely this is God." But God isn't in that. Then there's another big shake-up, or earthquake. It's strong and powerful, too. Surely this is from God because it's big and it's shaking my life all up. But God isn't in that, either. Then a fire, with all its fury and cleansing destruction. This just has to be God. Nope. Then we think we hear the faintest sound. So we come out of our cave and stand before God.

We get to points in our life when we want a change, a shake-up. We want something new and we beg God to speak and drop something huge on us. God might tell us to come out and stand before Him to hear His Word. But we balk. Does God throw up His hands and leave?

I think He draws us out. I think He gets our attention so we will come out and stand before just Him, no distractions. I say from experience that there have been strong winds, but they eventually faded from lack of God. There have been earthquakes, but they grew silent because God wasn't in them. And there were fires, furious and destructive, but they flickered out. After each of these, when things were silent, my attention was on God.

"I thought You were the wind, the earthquake, and the fire."

"I was just getting your attention. You've been listening for your own voice, not Mine. I need you to hear Me because there's more to do. I'm not through with you just yet."

Listen to your mother

The picture you see is a good ol' Sunday school poster of Elijah on Mount Carmel. I actually looked for a classic Byzantine or Renaissance-era painting because I think those Biblical renderings are beautiful. But, I grew weary of Googling so I went with the classic VBS art.

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A few weeks ago, mom gave me a CD sermon that she really wanted me to hear. It was delivered by Tim Miller so I was anxious to hear it but sitting down for thirty minutes to listen to anything is difficult these days. She kept prodding me, and I kept promising I would listen to it. I finally got around to it on Saturday. The sermon is titled Hitting the Wall. It's a really good sermon so I'll share some of the points with you good people.

1 Kings 17-19 tells the story of Elijah and his dealings with Ahab and Jezebel. If you ever want to know the wrong way to govern a nation, just read the accounts of Ahab. And if you ever want to know what happens when you choose the wrong mate, keep reading.

The Bible says (1 Kings 17) that Ahab did evil in the sight of the Lord, more than all who were before him. That's a whole bunch of evil. Here's a good lesson on how the actions of a leader who influences his people can bring judgment. That's another post. So God's prophet, Elijah, went and told the king that there would be a drought. Droughts were a big deal back then. God looks out for Elijah and his safety and tells him to r-u-n-n-o-f-t. He goes away, God has the ravens feed him, tells him to drink from a brook, but, drinking from a brook during a drought is not going to end up well. So God tells him to go somewhere else. He goes to a widow's house, stays there awhile, keeps her family fed in a very loaves-and-fishes kind of way, and raises her son from the dead. Busy guy, Elijah. Then God tells him to go and see Ahab, who wants Elijah dead.

Elijah goes to the king, sets up a battle royale with the pagan priests and scores a knockout. God is God and all is well. Until Jezebel gets involved and promises to kill him. So off he goes again, but this time he ends up on Mount Horeb with God.

Read the whole story for yourself but here's a point from Reverend Miller. The duel with the prophets of Baal was simple: make fire. Baal couldn't do it and Elijah starts talking smack, which is actually hilarious. He tells them to call out louder. Maybe Baal is on vacation, maybe he's asleep, maybe he's in the crapper. I'm not kidding.

But the point is, "False gods promise what only the true God provides." This made me think about how many times I've followed the promises that weren't from God. In hindsight, I can recall several times when something came my way that was just what I wanted it to be. My response is usually reasoning out how this is just what I needed. This will solve everything, all my disappointments will be wiped away. Funny thing, hindsight. God has promised to meet my needs and bless me in His way and in His time. All I have to do is follow.

Okay, real quick cause this is getting lengthy. Elijah calls the people together at Mt. Carmel and asks a question that hits home. He says, "How long will you go limping between two different opinions?" So, how long? God or other gods? God or against God? No one can serve two masters.

Well, this got long, huh? I just really heard alot in this sermon that I think we all need to hear right now.

Toodles.

Well, I have a whole bunch of stuff to talk about...

...but first things first. A big ol' thankee to the lovely Vanessa who hooked me up on Saturday with, obviously, game tickets. This photo is pre-game but you can still see the dang good seats we had. What you can't see is the deluge.

Miss V-Lee called me Friday morning and offered me two tickets, complete with parking pass and free admission to the Tennessee Fund Donor Appreciation Day at Thompson-Boling Arena prior to the game. I invited Ryan to go along because who else would you take to a ball game but the human statistics computer? I seriously don't know anyone else who is more sports-minded than him. I hope he never has to choose between sports and his next breath.

We had a great time even though the weather people around here are totally clueless. It rained hard straight through to the third quarter, and when the rain stopped, the wind kicked up and the temperature dropped. But you couldn't ask for more appropriate football weather. Everyone who knows me knows what a big-time sports guy I am (hear the sarcasm). Seriously, I do like to go to some games each year just to be in the atmosphere. Okay, actually it's for the stadium dogs, which were AWESOME!

Anyway, Vanessa, I owe you big. It was a lot of fun and I am grateful you thought of me. It's not everyday someone shows me such kindness, especially since you drove halfway across town to deliver the tix to me. You're my new best friend. And I'm sure Ryan's pretty fond of you right now, too.

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Most of that other stuff I want to write about will have to wait. It's hard for me to switch gears and besides, you folks have to work. Oh! Did I say work? What I meant was you folks have to work instead of me today. I'm off!

YIIIIPPPPPEEE!!!!

I do love a day off. Any day off is a good day, I always say. Maybe I'll post something during the day since I have nothing else to do.

Humor me. I don't get the chance to gloat very often.

Have a great Monday.

P.S. My new profile pic is what I'm going to do to Jason Reagan. When you see him, tell him to fear "The Meat."