I'm going to open a booth at the fair this year. It will be called "Stab the Pickle." Judging from the amount of money those carnies make from all the other impossible games, I'll be independently wealthy at 38.
I spent twenty minutes trying to get a pickle out of a jar tonight. I had a knife and jabbed down into the jar, just like I always do, which usually works flawlessly. I have loved pickles since I was a wee lad so I'm quite an accomplished pickle-poker. But tonight, I lost my mojo. That little sucker squirted all around the jar, bouncing from side to side, up and down, just out of reach of my too-wide-for-the-mouth-of-the-jar hand. Sure, I could've changed tactics, tried a fork or needle-nosed pliers, but where's the victory in that?
Look at 'em up there, taunting me with their beady little bumpy spot things.
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Today was the day I dread every two years at work. Yes, to my horror, today was Department of Transportation-mandated physical examination day. We have to be re-certified every two years in order to drive our company vehicles so that you people can go about your business on the roads without the fear of large, heavy trucks running all over your keesters. Physical exams are a walk in the park for me, I'm generally a healthy guy. But these exams come with an eye test. And, yep, that means color tests, too. (shudder)
Lucky for me (and you all), I am an accomplished sneak. The eye chart, the one with all the funny words on it like "defpotec" and "gnyxlep", was posted on the wall at the end of the hallway that I had to walk down to get to the paperwork room. So I stole a glance and memorized lines five through eight. The test was a breeze.
The color test consists of colored thumbtacks that I had to identify as the lady pointed at them. Never let it be said that luck doesn't get you anywhere. I passed with flying colors. Get it? Flying colors? Color test? I kill myself.
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I guess that's enough senseless banter for tonight. Friday night should be fun. Go here for details. I'm looking forward to just hanging out and relaxing. I hope everyone can make it. I think we'll watch The Princess Bride.
Have a great weekend, y'all. Sunday night begins our new stuff in Frequency. It's gonna be really, really awesome.
